Be careful! I'm a psychic, and I can see that your profile has been visited by the SHAMU FISTER! He stalks his prey at night, and eats all of the trash in their house while they sleep! it was once said that he did a waltz dance in Ed Norton's basement for 30 minutes, and didn't immediately fall asleep after! Beware his overgrown toenails, which can be heard scratching on the hardwood floors, and get tangled in the shag carpets of his victims! The only way to dispel his attention is to strip naked in the nearest Wal-Mart restroom and shout as loud as you can "I AM OPRAH'S BIGGEST FAN" while eating (previously paid for, NOT STOLEN, IF THEY ARE STOLEN IT DOESN'T WORK) 36 dozen hard boiled eggs. Watch out though, this will attract the SHAMU FISTER to your location, and once he arrives you have to lock him into the bathroom and say to the next person who approaches to use the bathroom "You do NOT want to go in there!"

Hello, it is I, Danny Devito, your favorite badminton net holder. I am here to sell you my badminton net holding gloves, the very gloves used to hold the net for the famous Mr. Badminton vs Mrs. Badminton game where they did the kissing the whole match while the shuttlecock bounced between their discarded racquets until everyone went home. I am offering them for the paltry sum of 177 payments of 40 sphincter smooches. Please don't delay, as I have 700,000,000 other people interested in purchasing these gloves and would hate for you to miss out on the opportunity.

Please return the Royal Corn™ to the Wheelbarrow of Shame™ before the Crombeer Abomination™ returns to exact his Revenge™!

A tall sweatless child asked his mother for an xbox. She scolded him and complained that the child and his younger sister had never seen the outdoors. "But Mom" cried the child "the tragic smog prevents us from leaving this putrid shack" The mother agreed, so she constructed a big industrial fan and blew all the smog away. "There" she boasted, "Now fetch me the eyes of the devil. Do not return until you've got them." So the child took his sister by her webbed fingers and they set off.

"BEEP BEEP" said Bus God

blemin is always watching you in the shower