In a world full of heartless, soulless, selfish creatures, where shadows linger longer than promises ever could.
There is no such thing as friends.
No such thing as trust.
Only the illusion of connection that shatters when you need it most.
Everyone comes and goes, using you first for what they want. They don't get it? They vanish like morning mist, leaving nothing but cold emptiness behind and footprints across your wounded heart. Each departure carves another hollow space inside you that never quite heals.

A place full of snakes, with smiles that never reach their eyes.. and promises written in disappearing ink. I've watched those I cherished most transform before me, their faces becoming unfamiliar masks, and their very words turning to poison.

The one thing I appreciate being on the spectrum is seeing patterns and observations in people – the subtle signs, the rehearsed kindness, the inevitable betrayals. My curse is remembering every "friends forever" that turned to dust in the blink of an eye.

I can't believe I was a fool to trust these people where I am most vulnerable with autism. I struggle to speak, and when I gain my hopes, to try and try again, I get it all thrown in my face, with the air leaving my lungs, I am suffocating, from the silence.

To be both autistic and an empath is to bear a beautiful burden – to feel others' emotions with such intensity that they become your own, yet to be wounded by the very depth of connection others take for granted. This gift of feeling too deeply cuts both ways, illuminating the world in vivid colours while leaving me bleeding from inside.

I know now... I know I shouldn't trust. And yet, against all reason, this stubborn spark of belief persisted inside. I kept giving chances, even when experience screams not to. But in reality, this faith in others is just fairy dust, beautiful, glimmering, and utterly unreal.

To never wear your heart on your sleeve again – not after watching so-called 'friends' take the warmth I offered and use it to burn me down to ashes, laughing as I crumbled.

I'm sick and tired of all the betrayals, with the people you believed would stand by you for a lifetime. All your life stories, all the deep, meaningful, precious moments shared when most vulnerable. When the world felt honest for once! only for them to be ripped apart in front of your very own eyes, each memory shredding like paper through a blade.

The laughter we shared now echoes mockingly, with me wondering which parts of me I gave away to false friends that I'll never get back.

I remember every inside joke, every secret kept sacred, every time I dropped everything to be there. Now all meaningless now, floating like the debris left after a storm. The worst pain isn't the betrayal itself , but the realisation that while you were building a fortress of friendship you thought would last forever, they were merely tourists passing through.

I am thankful I hold only one in my heart, and I will never again share the kindness I have too often given to others. My well of generosity has run dry for those who called themselves friends but treated that bond like a worthless trinket, who took my loyalty and gave nothing but eventual betrayal in return.

There's no such thing as friends , I promise you it's a lie woven to make the unbearable loneliness of existence seem less terrifying. There's only LIVE or DIE, and in between those extremes lies the quiet agony of learning that the hands you thought would always catch you were the ones that pushed you over the edge.

I am merely just a forgotten dream, a cold wintry whisper in the wind.

If you're not seeking a lifetime friendship then GET OUT!