From a young age, little Wheaty could bowl before he could walk. When at the alley one day, his parents looked away for less than 10 seconds. In that time he had crawled out of his stroller and picked up a 16 pound house ball, before delivering it down lane at 782 rpm and nearly 20mph. The resulting impact was so substantial, not only did he get his first strike on his lane, but also both lanes adjacent. As he grew older, (3 days later) he bowled his first 300 game from his stroller, without his parents ever noticing. By the time he was 12, he had bowled over 10,000 perfect games, and had gotten banned from every competition, in every bowling alley on the planet. Having no outlet left to showcase his immense bowling talent, he foolishly turned to wii bowling to get his fix, before also getting banned for life from that platform for cheating, because they couldn't comprehend his inhuman talent. With no options left he was forced to give up on bowling.

On his 18th birthday however, he left home in search of someplace where surely there were others like him. Years of searching left him broke and stranded in a far away land, with no food or water. In one last desperate move, he took the nearest rock and with all his remaining strength bowled it into a patch of trees as this would be the last time he would get to enjoy bowling before he died. What happened next though, no one could have seen coming. It just so happened he was at the entrance to El Bowlrado, and he had unknowingly opened the secret door to this wondrous land. Wheaty faded to black as the inhabitants approached him from within. When he awoke, he was greeted to the pleasant sound of pins exploding all around him. He rose from the bed crafted from bowling balls where they had lain him, a tear in his eye. The people of El Bowlrado, after recognizing his special gift, hailed him as their king, and a god. After all this searching, he was home at last.

rip

Absolute chad at bingo