volume 10 through whatever dirk's was suck too they are so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ boring

======> Volume 9
======> Route 1: Nuhpeepuh

Pros
- Dave is pretty funny

- nepeta

♥♥♥♥
- The entire Nepeta and Equihorse reunion is really weird and genuinely sorta confusing as to why it was built up in the last few volumes. From a viewers point of view, Nepeta and Equius have been together in most of their appearances in Homestuck proper unlike the beta kids which this moment attempts to emulate.

- nepeta

Score : It's like Jade's route but worse/8

======> Route 2: Thullux

Pros
- Sollux's faces are funny

- Sollux and Kanaya's interactions are an incredibly rare combo and actually sorta entertaining.

- female trolls are confirmed to have benis

♥♥♥♥
- ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ epic twitter gamers amirite xD humor. Jesus ♥♥♥♥, this absolute garbage is infuriating with how aggressively unfunny it is. It's the most unimaginative copy and paste garbage, multiple months late, from twitterdotcom.

- Haha epic fortnite, animal crossing, and minecraft!!

Score : i ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate twitter so much/8

======> Volume 8: Ram Ranch
======> Route 1: Dabros

Vriskas
- vriska

♥♥♥♥
- really 8oring actually

Score : Vriska did one (1) thing wrong/8

======> Route 2: Arammy

♥♥♥♥
- Aradia's torso is a cone

- also really 8oring

- stupid overarching plot that no one actually cares about that's underdeveloped and so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad oh my god jesus ♥♥♥♥ who the ♥♥♥♥ cares just do something stupid already

Score : 0u0/8


======> Volume 7
======> Route 1: Equihorse

Pros
- MSPA Reader and Equius actually have some genuine chemistry that makes the awkward situations bearable for once.

- Karkat's sudden heel turn on the Reader is kinda weird but seeing a rare interaction with Karkat and Equius make me wish we got more uncommon interactions in these routes.

- Equius' art makes him look short lmao

Mixed Things
- Equius just inherently isn't an interesting character, however the short length of Pesterquest routes actually works really well with this so he doesn't get stale.

Score : Unironically the second best route so far/8

======> Route 2: Terepy Pipes JUST KIDDING MORE VRISREZI

♥♥♥♥
- It's more troll society is bad exposition and it's all incredibly obvious things you pick up just by reading any of the content taking place in Alternia but also they feel the need to explain that killing people for existing is bad.

- Vriska invades another route and becomes the main focus of it.

- Not even five minutes into the route and Terezi is already out of character and talks about how much she totally doesn't wuv Vriska-Chan.

- It's the Vrisrezi part from Vriska's route cranked up to 11 and despite being the main focus of the route is still horrendously rushed, which still wouldn't make it much better.

- To go into more detail on why Vrisrezi is so absurdly awful,

• This relationship is inherently unhealthy due to their personalities just further encouraging everything bad with the other.
  
• The relationship is inherently tied into the oh so wonderful "vriska isn't a bad person" mentality as it typically downplays all the horrible things Vriska did, especially that of blinding Terezi.
  
• It's so bad that even when Vrisrezi is shoved into official media like A6A6I5 it's almost always (presumably unintentionally) shown as horrendously unhealthy as Vriska shows no care or love for Terezi and Terezi is absurdly dependent on Vriska.

Score : 1.34/8


======> Volume 6 : VRISKA SERKET

Pros
- Art is kinda messy in most poses and hair looks kinda bad but looks pretty cool in the more dynamic poses.

- Has a Fat Vriska Joke™ (on accident).

- Actually cool interactive element.

♥♥♥♥

- The writer of the route and at the time leader of Homestuck^2 shoved in as many of their atrocious headcanons.

- Vriska is out of character and comes out about her emotions far too quickly.

- Vrisrezi shoved in and like in A6A6I5 is really horrible and unhealthy with absolutely no self awareness on how bad it is.

- Spider Mom is retconned from an animal that does horrible things to survive like Vriska with some abusive parent vibes to an absurdly heavy handed abusive mother with no subtlety that literally calls Vriska fat while she's bleeding out.

- Genuinely tries to imply that VRISKA ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SERKET isn't a horrible person.

- This one is just kinda dumb since it barely matters but Vriska is implied to be a trans girl in the route which doesn't really make much sense with the ancestors existing also it's definitely just a thing cause the writer of the route literally self inserts as VRISKA ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SERKET.

Score : literally the worst piece of official homestuck media/8

Oh yeah, Gamzee's route is okay i guess.


======> Volume 5

======> Route 1: Karkrettin

Pros
- It's not as offensively bad as Kanaya's route, I guess?

♥♥♥♥
- It feels the most like a Friendsim route; MSPA Reader is a weirdo and that's the joke, the route is way too short, and more troll racism.

- Ends with Davekat because ????????

Score : A6A6I5/8

======> Route 2: Kanya

Pros
- Ending art is really dumb looking

♥♥♥♥
- Vriska is the entire focus of a route for a character who's relationship they had together was acknowledged for all of 20 pages before being forgotten about.

- Kanaya does almost nothing the entire route and doesn't have enough lines to tell if she is well written or not.

- Ending art is really dumb looking

- In general, this route just feels really low effort and more like the Friendsim route with unremixed music from Homestuck, dopey looking ending art, and the route being pretty short compared to the last few.

Score : Vriska/8


==> Volume 4 : Jade(Not real)

Pros
- Beta kids finally meet up after almost 11 years.

- The entire route is setup as a fun what-if scenario, which is how all of these routes should be setup.

♥♥♥♥
- Jade isn't particularly interesting because it's not A5A2 Jade but eh.

Score : best ending/8


==> Volume 3 : dave from Toby Fox's The Baby is You

Pros
- Dave is just in general a funny character who works much better in Pesterquest's format since even when he's just talking at you, as long as he's well written...

- ...and he actually is. James Roach did a good job of writing Dave as he feels pretty close to how he did back in the earlier acts of Homestuck.

- Also the interactions where Dave talks to actual people who speak actual real people words is good.

♥♥♥♥
- MSPA Reader's narration, of course is pretty bad but it's honestly even worse than the first two routes. All of the narration just sounds like really unfunny twitter posts strung together to create a story.

Score : please just have actual characters talk to each other hussie im begging you please/8


==> Volume 2 : Roz

Pros
- Rose's mom is hot.

- Mutie is cutie.

♥♥♥♥
- It's not as boring as John's route which makes it more boring to talk about since this route still does absolutely nothing interesting.

Score : eh/8


==> Volume 1 : John

Pros
- Is written by Andrew Hussie in the year 2019.

- Art is pretty.

♥♥♥♥
- Is written by Andrew Hussie in the year 2019.

- It's just... boring, absolutely nothing happens, no wacky alt timelines, no rushed character development, not even anything offensively bad or really dumb. It's just nothing and the most interesting thing is the tie in to the epilogues.

- John doesn't have pure black dot eyes and his glasses aren't just square shaped eyes

Score : The art for the endings isn't complete ass now/8