girlboss
Michael Stevens
Yuba City, California, United States
Phone Guy - "Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?
Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."

Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay.

So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?

Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.

Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."
Phone Guy - "Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?
Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."

Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay.

So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?

Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.

Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."
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MountainDewRock 15 Nov, 2020 @ 11:15pm 
The world is spinning too fast
I'm buying lead nike shoes
To keep myself tethered
To the days I've tried to lose
My mama said to slow down
You must make your own shoes
Stop dancing to the music
Of Gorillaz in a happy mood
Keeping my groove on
Ba ba ba (lalalalala)
Day dee bop (lalalalala)
Day dee bop (lalalalala)
Day dee bop (lalalalala)
Yeah, yeah
Day dee bop (lalalalala)
Day dee bop (lalalalala)
Day dee bop (lalalalala)
Day dee bop (lalalalala)
Here you go get the cool (lalalala)
Get the cool shoeshine (lalalala)
Get the cool (lalalala)
Get the cool shoeshine (lalalala)
Get the cool (lalalala)
Get the cool shoeshine (lalalala)
Get the cool (lalalala)
Get the cool shoeshine (lalalala)
There's a monkey in the jungle
Watching a vapor trail
Caught up in the conflict
Between his brain and his tail
And if time's elimination
Then we got nothing to lose
Please repeat the message
It's the music that we choose
Keeping my groove on
vacuum egg 17 Jun, 2020 @ 1:59am 
+rep a wanted criminal in the state of ohio
MysteryGoop 16 Jun, 2020 @ 9:39pm 
mmm PooOpss ajoi aahhahaa aahahaaaaa :_)
girlboss 16 Jun, 2020 @ 9:38pm 
[Verse 1: Hannibal Buress]
Morpheus, Dorpheus, Orpheus
Go eat some walruses
Orifices, Porridges
Morpheus, Morpheus

Going to the Buffet and Walruses
Confidence, Corpseses
Worcestershire sauce
Go into your orifices

Red pill, blue pill
Morpheus, Walruses
Seashells by the Seashorpheus

[Outro]
Morpheus drinking a forty in a death basket!
Fame N Fortunes 24 Apr, 2018 @ 8:14pm 
Now watch me WHIP
😎
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😜
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Now watch me NAE NAE
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Fame N Fortunes 24 Apr, 2018 @ 7:31pm 
soulja 💁‍♂💁‍♂ boy 💁‍♂ tell🗣em👥 Hopped🐇up☝out👉 the 😩bed🛏😴turn ↩my 💁‍♂ 💁‍♂swag 💁‍♂🔥💯on💡 Took 👋a🅰 look👀 in👉👌 the😩 mirror😏😎, said🗣wassup 👋🙋‍♂ Yeah😂😂I'm💁‍♂💁‍♂ gettin' 👊✊money🤑💵💰 oh😳😮