Recent reviews by Slick Slash

Game crashes after the main menu. Don't buy.

Skip this game and go to Bloodborne or Dark Souls 3.

This was a pretty good game until I learned that every soul you collect is remembered and you get scaled against higher level players no matter what you do. I was playing this game thinking it was great, didn't know why people were hating on it, they were talking about SOUL MEMORY.

Need to repair equipment? ♥♥♥♥ you.

Found a weapon or armor that's better and you want to spend souls reinforcing that instead? ♥♥♥♥ you.

Are you a character that has to buy any item to sustain himself? ♥♥♥♥ you.

Are you someone who buys different weapons to test them out? ♥♥♥♥ you.

Are you someone who likes helping others as a white/yellow phantom? Double ♥♥♥♥ you.

You're someone who's lost 300,000 souls because you get invaded on a retrieval? TRIPLE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ YOU.

You're an archer that uses souls to buy ammuniton? Oh ho ho ho HAHAHAHAHA yeah ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ quadruple ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ you thinking you could try to play as something else, yeah just ♥♥♥♥ you for using a bow. You'll be a level 50 fighting level 500s in ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ no time because you've been spending souls on ammunition.

♥♥♥♥ you, you have to be a level 150 fighting level 900s with 99 in every stat. You have no control over it whatsoever, why even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bother with 9999999 pvp fights. Because guess what, this game is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cheap. You WILL die many times over small things, which wouldn't bother me except IT'S PERMANENTLY COUNTED AGAINST YOU. Imagine returning to the undead asylum in DS1 with 100,000 souls and you fell through the hole and getting insta killed by the stray demon and lost your retrieval when he instakilled you the second time. It was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, but there wasn't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SOUL MEMORY FOR ♥♥♥♥'S SAKE.

MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HIGH LEVEL FIGHTING PEOPLE WHO HAVE 99 IN EVERY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ STAT WITH MAX GEAR AND EVERY SPELL
MAYBE I DIDN'T ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WANT TO DO THAT MAYBE I WANTED TO STAY WHERE THE ♥♥♥♥ I AM SO MY FRIEND CAN CATCH UP AND SO I CAN HELP PEOPLE WITH NO CONSEQUENCES

This mechanic ruined the entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game, ♥♥♥♥ this ♥♥♥♥.
They even took this mechanic out of Dark Souls 3 so they know they messed this up, but they'll just allow this part of the franchise to be a black chapter that everyone advises skipping over. You made people disregard an entire game because of this stupid mechanic.

It's hilarious, you can't even argue with me about this because From themselves KNOW they ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up, they backpedaled out of this in the next game, they know this was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ horrible. What a piece of ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ part of this series.

Jesus ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ christ.

SKIP THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ GAME GO TO BB OR DS3
DS3 might not have poise in heavy armor, which is retarded.
But at least it doesn't have
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
MOTHER
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
SOUL
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥
MEMORY
♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥

It says co-op and yet there is none.

It took me two hours to capture one of nine areas of the campaign map, only being able to stop the eternal stalemate by going on a stealth mission with one ally and infiltrating their main base.

More of a Battlefront game than Star Wars: Battlefront
Like Soldat in 3D

I seriously was not expecting the game to be this fun, whoever made this was on drugs.

The guy you play as is so hilarious that alone makes this worth playing, definitely the satisfying endless mass murdering too. There's a few ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bugs involving where you respawn and certain doorways I couldn't pass through but other than that, it's pretty damn good. Playing an honest game that didn't overdo meta humor is refreshing aside from the achievements you can unlock like "Edgy" and "Postal Dude Would Be Proud". It also provides a real challenge when the army shows up, the game encourages you to retreat, go find people to slaughter, then get back into the fight like you're in a guirrella war. Homeless, wounded, or cowering people are like free health pick-ups here. You even get to kill hipsters.

It stays true to what XCOM is about, but supes up the graphics. It actually provided me with a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ challenge but I kept coming back and playing because it felt within my grasp. I'm not a fan of turn-based combat but this was actually still enjoyable, aside from the obvious missing an enemy despite having a 95% chance of hitting. I bought it for five bucks but I got well more than that in entertainment.

Holy ♥♥♥♥ did this ♥♥♥♥ piss me off throughout the game. Music's catchy though.

AVE, TRUE TO CAESAR

GOD WILLS IT GOD WILLS IT GOD WILLS IT GOD WILLS IT GOD WILLS IT