I am (Snort) the alternate (Grunt) account of one honourable Mrchicken ; If you have any concerns regarding my behaviour, prithee redirect them to him.

Truff is a monster, yes. (Grunt) But not a bad one!

Truff doesn't hurt humans! Hrnnngh! So please, don't hurt Truff! (grunt)

(Squeal) You want to hear Truff's story? (Snort) Oh. Thank you.

Truff is looking for someone. Hrnnngh! Someone who can cut my hedges.

Truff dropped a ring... (snort snuffle) A precious, sparkly, shiny and luminescent ring... Hrnnngh...

Truff has searched and searched, but... (snort)... nothing.

YOU! You have a (grunt) pair of scissors on you! Hrnnngh! You could cut my hedges and locate my jewelry!

You will help Truff!? Hrnnnnnnngh! Oh, thank you, thank you!

Oh! Hrnnngh! Yes! (snort) That's it! That's it!

Humans found it! Oh, thank goodness!

Oh! Oh, it's not Truff's. (grunt) It's for Truff's friend. Truff's friend the... (snort)... human!

Hahahaha! (snort) Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Shh! (snort)

There is no time for contemplating defeat, as it shall never occur to Truff and his minstrel entourage.

Come here whelp and I shall lay red welts upon thy slender and ravageable derriere.

The tree is blocking Truff's way.

Yes, please! A schnitzel, please!

Truff's human friend cooked one for him once. Hrnnngh... It's been his favourite ever since!

Truff went to London to... try and buy one..

But they cast (snort) me out with pitchfork and halberd!