People are always asking me questions about being a mailman. So, I thought I would answer a few of the ones that have been asked the most.


Do I ever have beautiful women come to the door in their underwear or even naked?

I am sorry to say that the answer to that is "No". I am even sorrier to say that I did have Mr. Franklin come to his door naked. I hate to disappoint you there Mr. Franklin, but I do not think of you and your nakedness as an enjoyable part of my day. Maybe it's just me but Saggy man teats do not in any way compare to the female form. Here's a little advice from me to you. If your belly is bigger than your penis, it's time to go to the gym. Maybe get to know your feet again.


Do you ever read people's postcards?

Why the hell would I want to do that? You don't even want to read them. You're just afraid that the loved one or friend is going to quiz you when they get back. "Today we went to the zoo and a monkey threw poo on me." "Here we are in Vegas. Gosh, there sure are a lot of lights! That's just a couple examples of the AAA caliber of writing that you can get on a piece of cardboard with a picture of the worlds largest cheese slice on it. Wait, maybe I should start reading them


Why didn't I get a piece of mail I am looking for?

There is only one reason why you didn't get it. We threw it away. Yeah, you heard me. We have this big wheel at the Post Office. It has everyone's name on it. Like I said, it's a big wheel! One lucky mailman gets to give it a spin. When it stops on a name, he gets to throw something away. See very simple. I like to pick the ones that say something about love or please write me back soon.


I hope all of this has helped you with a few of your questions. And just maybe, you understand how hard a career in the Postal service can be. Also please by more stamps. I have habits to support!