ᅚᅚᅚᅚ's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2014 @ 3:03pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2014 @ 8:50pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2014 @ 3:03pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2014 @ 11:06pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2014 @ 8:55pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2014 @ 11:22pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 5 Sep, 2014 @ 6:05pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 5 Sep, 2014 @ 6:57pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 7:06pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 8:07pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2017 @ 5:26pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 8:20pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 29 Feb, 2020 @ 6:20pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2014 @ 12:11am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 5:40pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 6:25pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 4:44pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 29 Feb, 2020 @ 6:32pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2014 @ 9:31pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2017 @ 7:06am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2021 @ 5:09am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2014 @ 8:43pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 5 Sep, 2014 @ 5:44pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 4:12pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2017 @ 5:48pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 5:27pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 28 Feb, 2020 @ 6:52pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2014 @ 8:50pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2014 @ 3:03pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 5:28pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2014 @ 3:05pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 29 Feb, 2020 @ 6:42pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2017 @ 7:26am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 2:11am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2014 @ 8:48pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2014 @ 11:24pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 4 Sep, 2014 @ 4:03pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2014 @ 3:01pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2014 @ 8:43pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2014 @ 11:40pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 22 Aug, 2014 @ 11:27pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2015 @ 12:38am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 21 Feb, 2020 @ 10:14pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 13 Feb, 2021 @ 4:32am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Sep, 2014 @ 3:17am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2014 @ 11:22pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 3 Sep, 2014 @ 1:27am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 5 Sep, 2014 @ 5:12pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 11 Jun, 2023 @ 3:59pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 17 Jun, 2017 @ 7:21am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2014 @ 1:51am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 8:23pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 2:35am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2017 @ 12:31am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2019 @ 6:58pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2019 @ 10:42pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2019 @ 12:15am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 9:51pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 2:28am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2019 @ 2:08am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2019 @ 11:35pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 10:59pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 29 Feb, 2020 @ 5:51pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2021 @ 8:05pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

13 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

23 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

3 / 30

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

23 / 30