332 people found this review helpful
758 people found this review funny
5
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 200.7 hrs on record (82.4 hrs at review time)
Posted: 7 Jun, 2018 @ 9:16am
Updated: 26 Nov, 2019 @ 10:16am

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was an out-of-shape guy who lived in a modest flat. He bought a VR headset and started to dive into all kinds of VR games. Elite Dangerous VR, Robo Recall, Audioshield, he played it all. The moment he bought Beat Saber, though, his life began to change forever.

At first, he tried the easier difficulties and found them too dull for his taste. Then he tried the expert difficulty and, though he struggled with them at first, managed to finish every single song in the game with a good score, missing only a few notes. As time went on, he grew slightly bored with the game, as it has only a few tracks included. To alleviate the problem, he decided to invest in a decent speaker system and use it instead of relying on the default headphones that came with his Oculus Rift. It barely helped.

By this time, the guy has lost some weight. He then decided to delve into the wonderful world of modding as he installed a few custom beat maps. Now he can theoretically keep himself entertained for as long as his physical endurance allows.

Soon, short sessions became hours long, and everytime he played he always would end up heavily drenched in sweat. Within days, changing T-shirts regularly is a must, followed by showers. The laundry pile grows bigger by the day, and doing the laundry is a chore he would rather not do. It didn't take him long to start playing the game shirtless, with air conditioning on full blast, which allows him to play for hours on end. Still, he had to take regular showers and toss his shorts to the laundry bin.

Of course, this change warrants a few consequences. In one instance, the guy decided to take a shower after yet another long session, but is stopped by his female flatmate, who proceeded to show him the ridiculously hefty water bill.

She then whispers, "Wanna shower together?"

So, the moral of the story is: BUY THIS GAME!
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21 Comments
SpicyMrJ 20 Feb, 2022 @ 7:03pm 
this is so not cringe
isaiah. ♱♱ 23 Mar, 2020 @ 6:00am 
wtf is a female
Little Bunny Foo Foo 23 Dec, 2018 @ 9:47pm 
lel. :sakurafantasygwynne:
Springbreeze Sagramore 20 Oct, 2018 @ 12:09pm 
gay
BurrZurrCarr 23 Sep, 2018 @ 12:56pm 
What is a female?
emerald 19 Aug, 2018 @ 11:56am 
okay, this is epic
jatora 8 Jul, 2018 @ 12:48pm 
since when do they let beta numales review things?
jatora 8 Jul, 2018 @ 12:47pm 
wtf? cringe as FUCK
Wig Bang 7 Jul, 2018 @ 1:56pm 
this is the cringiest thing i've ever read.
Lance Bean 7 Jul, 2018 @ 10:30am 
cringe