It's true, ask me the story and I'll tell you.

The Schlong Man : and I personally know a guy who was reported to have jorked it so bad that the muscle knotted up and it looked all ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up.

-Rep After a good game in L4D2, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great L4D and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a L4D lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

+rep, good l4d team mate

╠╬╬╬╣
╠╬╬╬╣OK! WHO ATE MY
╠╬╬╬╣♥♥♥♥♥♥ bar!!
╚╩╩╩╝

...................▄▄▄▄▄
..............▄▌░░░░▐▄
............▐░░░░░░░▌
....... ▄█▓░░░░░░▓█▄
....▄▀░░▐░░░░░░▌░▒▌
.▐░░░░▐░░░░░░▌░░░▌
▐ ░░░░▐░░░░░░▌░░░▐
▐ ▒░░░ ▐░░░░░░▌░▒▒▐
▐ ▒░░░░▐░░░░░░▌░▒▐
..▀▄▒▒▒▒▐░░░░░░▌▄▀
........ ▀▀▀ ▐░░░░░░▌
.................▐░░░░░░▌
.................▐░░░░░░▌
.................▐░░░░░░▌
.................▐░░░░░░▌
.................▐░░░░░░▌
................▐▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▌
...............▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌
...............▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌
................▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌
..................▀▌▒▀▒▐▀