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He only emerges once a week, carrying five large 50-gallon soda bottles filled with human excrement, which he leaves just outside his door. He refuses to leave the house, speak to me, or even acknowledge my presence. I’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work. When I turned off the WiFi, he managed to pay someone in Doubloons to park a satellite WiFi truck outside our house. Attempting to take away his computer leads to an uncontrollable tard rage where he repeatedly screams, “F*CK THE INDIANS, F*CK THE INDIANS" until he gets it back.
I’ve called the Internet police, but they say there’s nothing they can do. Please bring me back my son.
Game consoles are for those who want to entertain themselves.
I once tried using a PC - it was an absolute nightmare! (those who create these various versions don't exactly make them for the novice; they wrongly assume EVERYONE is a Geek) And using it was WORSE!!! Besides, I've ALWAYS used XBox, and it's too late to teach this old dog new tricks. And when PCs become as easy to use as XBox, games are as easy to load into PC as it is for XBox, and there's Halo 2 ported to PC (or better still, XBox games are compatible with PC), THEN I'll use it And You PC-ers DARE to accuse Bill Gates of being the 'Antichrist'?! At least he makes his game consoles EASY to buy & use!!!
So, until then, I say:
GET THEE BEHIND ME, PC-SATAN!!!