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报告翻译问题
Basically, I bought a 15-inch red silicone t rex bad dragon dildo (for one of my many girlfriends not me I’m not gay) but when I was taking it out I fell over wierdly and it slid all 15 inches deep into my ass while wearing thigh highs and a skirt while jerking off with a gag in my mouth. But it went too deep and it made me have sudden explosive diarrhoea, and I guess the dildo must have punctured something cause there was a lot of blood in it, and then I got shocked so I pissed myself right as I came (accidentally), so now there’s piss ♥♥♥♥ blood and ♥♥♥ in the carpet and all over the thigh highs and the skirt and stuff and my parents are coming around tomorrow and I can’t get it out and there’s so much ♥♥♥♥ everywhere and my apartment has this vomit-inducing smell like someone died help what do I do?