Recent reviews by Professional Asshole

Low key most fun 2 hours ive spent playing a game

To start if off - This game sucks.
Undertale must be one of the worst games ever made, mainly because it looks like some trash from the 90s.
Why does it look like ♥♥♥♥? Comparing it to COD or Battlefield would be a disgrace.
It's 2016 - look at GTA V, which was released 2013.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ look at Fallout 4, good graphics, immersion and good storytelling, nothing to even compare with Undertale.
It ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ feels like somebody decided to use RPGmaker to create a game and then praise it for no reason, I honestly don't see what's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ good about it.
I can't play it, it's completly unbearable, it's boring, it's not interesting at the slightest.
People seem to think that old graphics = good game, but in reality it's far from it.
Fallout 1 actually took effort to make, the design was pretty and the engine was made from scratch.
Fallout 1 was presentable and fun, Undertale is basically if someone used RPGmaker to make a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game - no difference.
Oh and Fallout 1 was released in 1997.
I don't see the point why people praise the game.
The only people who love it are liberal ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who don't get ♥♥♥♥♥ on a daily basis.
Those are probably the only people who play and praise it.

GAMEPLAY
Honestly, there is no gameplay.
It's basically somesort of a sidescroller, there're no animations, no effects - it's just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥.
It feels like somesort of a Chinese bootleg version of Final Fantasy.
I really don't know what to pick, even Fallout 1 seems more entertaining as a turn based game.
And I hear you crying "It's all about the immersion and storytelling! I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ love ♥♥♥♥♥ and I can't wait to suck off my boyfriend!"
Okay, fair enough. Good point. Graphics aren't everything - it's usually good storytelling and immersion.

STORY
After reading the story from the Wiki I must ask the question - Is this really good storytelling for you?
I can just imagine that a little autistic broter decided to right a storyline for this game.
This is what it honestly feels like.
The first plot element (Takes place in underground) leads me to think that it's a ripoff of Fallout.
Nothing is original in this game. Monsters VS Humans, skeletons, 4th wall breaks etc.
I'm not impressed at all by the story, it's nothing unique and definetly not as great as the cucks lead you to believe.
Since the game is basically a textscroller, there are no voicelines at all, it's just really badly done.

"B-b-but you haven't even completed it!"
I don't want to play it because unlike some other people, I am someone who values time.
When I want to invest my time into a videogame I want to make sure it's very good and presentable.

For the final virdict because apparently I can't have an opinion without it -
I'm just not ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ convinced.
This is basically a laughingstock, it's an abomination, really lazily made.
This was made in 2.5 years and was backed by some 3rd worlders on Kickstarter.
I rest my case.
I played some of the game, I read the story and watched a few videos. Is this really the modern entertaiment to the masses?
I mean, if you were bound down to a wheelchair and mentally disabled then yeah - this game is perfect.
But for people who aren't virgins while being in their 20s, look elsewhere.

Be mad, dislike all you want, but in the end you can't explain why this game is as good as people make it out to be. It's just that bad.

its like chess without the thinking part

phonesex: the game

game is dead

tbh 10/10 goty

impossible to get vac also worst fps out there

gay