Being a vegan is a lot like being a neckbeard. It's not about the fedora on your head, it's about the fedora on your heart.

So if someone says you look and sound vegan, they're saying you give off a vibe that you have health issues bordering on serious and refuse to admit that the decisions you've made might have a causal relationship.

Like a guy who complains he gets no sleep but drinks an entire pot of coffee before bed? That's a vegan.

Dude who doesn't know why he has tetanus after he nailed his hand to the floor with the rustiness nail he could find? Vegan.

Dude who just doesn't get why he needs his stomach pumped after swallowing a full litre of bleach? Vegan.

Your vegan trait is giving off an aura of depression but voluntarily using Discord.

I come from a low frequency environment, and I've only used cash my entire life
The only time I ever held a card was when I borrowed my cousin's Bank of America debit card to slice open a funnel cake at the county fair
When I took my daughter there on a trip amidst a lengthy child custody battle with my ex wife
Attempting to prove to the judge that I'm a responsible father
But we all know I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ not
I got the kids ears pierced at two years old and she already knows what Red Bull tastes like
I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Judge, if you're seeing this, please let me have McKenzie back
I even wore my nice 8 Ball jean jacket to the last court hearing
I'm ready to change

its midnight but still 37 degrees, kinda hot right? i sweat like a pig, like a ♥♥♥♥ ton of sweat my whole body is slippery. i went to the toilet and started taking a hard ass ♥♥♥♥, but then my butt cheeks started sweating for the heat and for the extreme force i was making. my dumb ass had to grab the bidet near the toilet so i could go 100%,

i ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ slipped away like if i had butter on my ass. lucky for me i ♥♥♥♥ metal pieces so nothing fell but gah damn i had an heart attack

buy american

who here actually likes the color green? what are you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid? green is just discount blue and discount yellow. it is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ mixture of the two colors that was turned into an abomination that shouldnt exist. green shouldve been like purple but no, instead it decided to be a ♥♥♥♥ color. green is a color that has no real purpose. blue embodies sadness and the oceans, yellow embodies happiness and the sun. the ♥♥♥♥ does green represent? grass? what a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ thing to rep. on the importance of things to represent grass is real ♥♥♥♥♥♥ low on the totem poll of things that are good. not only that but why to most greens have to be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ blindingly bright? like what does that accomplish other than pissing me off? green is a dumb color and your stupid if you like it. Thank you for coming to my ted talk

I am a proud racist, I love to race around in cars, I love that whizzing sound as I drive. I have been a racist for 30 years now. I have watched all the cars movies 420 different times and they were amazing. I can't stop thinking about cars, I love them so much. I even drive in cars when I sleep. You have to try racism, your life will be 1000% better! I promise you that racism is the best thing that will ever happen. I have won 69 races in Nascar! Repost this if you too are a proud racist.

I hate vtuber chats.

Say ara ara!!! Say ara ara!!!! Nononono,,, say HI HONEY!!! yeah, yeah!!! Say hi honey!!! Say it so I can imagine you coming back home to me and genuinely loving me like noone else has!!!! and then play ring fit!!! Yeah!!! Play ring fit so I can imaging you moaning!!! Show me your boing boings!!! Haha wait was that lewd??? Uh oh guys it was too lewd haha!!!! That wasn't very seiso!!! Woah guys, I'm horny!!!! Haha wouldn't it be SO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FUNNY if one of the Vtubers said I'm horny?? Yeah!! Then make all of them say it 50 MORE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TIMES!!!? Woah guys,, our WHOLESOME idols can't be so horny!!! That's not seiso!!! Haha!!!!! Looks like I'm bottom left today!!!

SHUT UP. I HATE YOU. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

$0.86 will get you 26 ounces of table salt. A grain of salt is about 0.0000585 grams or 0.000002064 ounces. That's somewhere around 12,596,900 grains of salt. If you really wanted to splurge, you could spend an extra $0.14 to get another 1,900,000 grains to take you up to an exhilarating 14,500,000 grains of salt. Just imagine how much fun you could have with almost 15 million grains of salt. You could put some in your neighbor's car's gas tank. You could put some in your own gas tank. You could even pour some into a water bottle and drink it to pretend you're lost at sea and can only drink salt water. The possibilities are as endless as the number of grains of salt you have.

To be quite frank, one does need to have a rather significant amount of intellect to comprehend Richard & Mortimer. Why, just yesterday I attempted to show my cousin (who has just entered his seventh year) the episode where the titular character, Rick, turns himself into a pickled cucumber. He laughed at the mere thought of a man become fermented vegetable, but I sat there watching, lamenting the deeper message: the death of intellectual pursuit, the desensitization to societal filth, muck, and mire, and the shameless abandonment of psychological understanding.

At the end my cousin turned to me and proclaimed, "I am the scientist that was once named Rick, but I have now become a pickled cucumber. Look at me, I am pickled Rick!", and I could not help but smile, not that the line he had just recited was humorous, but at the realization that this, in front of my very eyes, was the sum of what the episode had just warned against.

[Narrating] Alex and I had a few moments of glory between us. Robot fighting comrades, the best in MvM collaborative team... Good-hearted macho ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like that. I would have given anything to have him here as my back up. No such luck. No luck at all.

so you know how boys insult girls because they like them?

my crush called me a terrorist and said i'm probably bald under my headscarf!

then he said I should have died in 9/11

im in love 😍

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.

Thanks for the comments!

Thanks for the comments!

notices the bulge in your pants, deducing that it must in fact be a katana tries to woo you in order to gain your prized family katana OwO what's this? glomps you, unaware that what I thought was your katana was in fact your ding dong. I go to grab it anyways, and snap it in half by accident. I feel blood on my hands and know I made quite the mistake Uguu~ senpai, sowwy for huwting u :'( winces in pain, because Nii-chan is screaming directly into my organ of corti Just another day in the life of Nya-chan ^ _ ^

ｉｆ ｓｏｍｅｏｎｅ ｔｒｉｅｓ ｔｏ ｔｏｕｃｈ ｙｏｕ ｉｎ a ｐｌａｃｅ ｏｒ a ｗａｙ ｔｈａｔ ｍａｋｅｓ ｙｏｕ ｆｅｅｌ ｕｎｃｏｍｆｏｒｔａｂｌｅ ｔｈｅｎ ｔｈａｔ'ｓ ｎｏ ｇｏｏｄ

it's sick to resist the brainfinity of humans

maplestory > warframe

+rep easy trade

so on top of klilling female hip hop, you almost killed me a few nights ago. I was driving home from work late at night on a dark country road and your ♥♥♥♥♥♥ song starships came on. I of course had to look down to change the station immediately, only to look up and see a deer 10 feet in front of my car. I almost hit it. If any other song would have been on i wouldn't have had the urgent need to change the radio station so quickly. If your crappy music was the last thing i heard before i died i would have haunted your dumb ass for the rest of your miserable life.

░░░░░░█▐▓▓░████▄▄▄█▀▄▓▓▓▌█
░░░░░▄█▌▀▄▓▓▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▓▓▓▓▓▌█
░░░▄█▀▀▄▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀░▓▌█
░░█▀▄▓▓▓███▓▓▓███▓▓▓▄░░▄▓▐█
░█▌▓▓▓▀▀▓▓▓▓███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▀▓▓▐█
▐█▐██▐░▄▓▓▓▓▓▀▄░▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌█▌
█▌███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▐░░▄▓▓███▓▓▓▄▀▐█
█▐█▓▀░░▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██████▓▓▓▓▐█
▌▓▄▌▀░▀░▐▀█▄▓▓██████████▓▓▓▌█▌
▌▓▓▓▄▄▀▀▓▓▓▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█▓█▓▓▌█▌
█▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█▓█▓█▓▓▓▐█

huehuehue

huehue

hue

Stay Frosty my friend.

Banana :V

Hmmmm I'm deciding whether or not to put an inappropiate comment here........

Platypus. That is all.