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R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 2:29

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 2:31

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 3:29

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 2:44

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 2:49

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 9:58

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 11:56

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 23:36

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 22:44

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Здобуто 8 січ. 2018 о 11:09

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Здобуто 12 січ. 2018 о 5:38

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Здобуто 9 січ. 2018 о 7:39

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 10:26

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Здобуто 12 січ. 2018 о 5:53

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Здобуто 9 січ. 2018 о 4:26

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 20:59

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 20:45

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Здобуто 8 січ. 2018 о 10:29

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Здобуто 8 січ. 2018 о 11:37

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 12:05

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 9:49

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Здобуто 11 січ. 2018 о 13:39

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 2:40

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Здобуто 8 січ. 2018 о 8:30

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Здобуто 8 січ. 2018 о 8:15

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 2:16

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 3:03

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 10:06

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 1:52

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 3:29

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 3:47

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Здобуто 7 січ. 2018 о 22:27

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Здобуто 16 лип. 2017 о 3:21

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Здобуто 12 січ. 2018 о 7:17

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Здобуто 8 січ. 2018 о 0:17

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Здобуто 8 січ. 2018 о 8:04



Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
0 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
2 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
0 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
0 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
0 / 30

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
0 / 10
+15

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