ᵃʲᵃˣ EpicMama💀's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 2:29am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 2:31am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 3:29am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 2:44am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 2:49am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 9:58am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 11:56am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 11:36pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 10:44pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2018 @ 11:09am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2018 @ 5:38am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 9 Jan, 2018 @ 7:39am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 10:26am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2018 @ 5:53am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 9 Jan, 2018 @ 4:26am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 8:59pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 8:45pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2018 @ 10:29am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2018 @ 11:37am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 12:05pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 9:49am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2018 @ 1:39pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 2:40am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2018 @ 8:30am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2018 @ 8:15am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 2:16am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 3:03am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 10:06am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 1:52am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 3:29am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 3:47am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Jan, 2018 @ 10:27pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 3:21am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2018 @ 7:17am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2018 @ 12:17am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 8 Jan, 2018 @ 8:04am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

0 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

0 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30