Recent reviews by Dimi

For all the people that hate on this game because the resolution is off or it crashes.
Just follow these 2 guides and enjoy the game like back in the old days:

https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1936963724

https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1936961298

Is this the worst monkey island game out there? No, not if you tweak the controls and up the resolution. After that it's actually one of my favourites after monkey island 3.

Bonus tip: follow the control configuration in the guides. Even if you are still planing on using the keyboard at least follow it partially so Guybrush doesn't control like a tank/old resident evil game.

Only buy this if you love seeing virtual bouncing boobies and a G-string. And if that is the case definitely check out the skins that I posted in the guides section.

- DIFFICULTY -
🔲 My 90 year old grandma could play it
☑️ Easy
🔲 Normal
☑️ Hard
🔲 "Dark Souls"
This game is either extremely easy or extremely hard. There is no middle way. Why? Because most mobs you need to kill just die after a few basic hits. But there are mobs that can only be harmed by specific spells/skills, very fun… trial and error. Then there are the bosses; all of them are sponges with insane health bars. While they are not hard this does mean if you mess up somewhere in the fight and die you can experience the fun… of bashing another 10minutes against a health bar. So maybe hard isn’t the right word. More like extremely tedious.

- GRAPHICS -
🔲 "MS Paint"
🔲 Bad
🔲 Meh
🔲 Graphics don't matter in this game
☑️ OK
🔲 Good
🔲 Beautiful
🔲 Masterpiece
The graphics are ok for its time. Don’t expect some gorgeous graphics like in a triple A title. Most annoying thing about the graphics is that it has waaaaaaaaay too much bloom.

- MUSIC -
🔲 Bad
☑️ Not special
🔲 Good
🔲 Beautiful
Nothing special, just enough to keep the battles going. You won’t remember anything of it by the end.

- STORY -
🔲 This game has no story
☑️ It's there for the people who want it
🔲 Umm Good?
🔲 Well written
🔲 Epic story
You are basically a young bratty tomb raider. You pick up something you shouldn’t have and all hell breaks loose. Nothing more story to it than that.

- PRICE -
🔲 Free
🔲 Underpriced
☑️ Perfect price
🔲 Could be cheaper
🔲 Overpriced
🔲 Complete waste of money
I got it for 5bucks. So yeah can’t be much more cheaper. But I can say this; don’t buy it for more than 7 bucks or so. It really is not worth more than that.

- REQUIREMENTS -
🔲 You can run it on a microwave
☑️ Potato
☑️ Average
🔲 High end
🔲 "NASA" computer
This is from the early xbox360/PS3 area so most pc’s these days will have no issues running this at +60FPS.

- LENGTH -
🔲 Very short (0 - 3 hours)
☑️ Short (3 - 10 hours)
🔲 Average (10 - 20 hours)
🔲 Long (30- 50 hours)
🔲 Extremely long (50 - 100 hours)
🔲 Even longer!!!! (100+ hours)
🔲 It’s over 9000!!!! (9000+ hours)
You can basically do everything in 10 hours or so. Maybe a little bit more if you missed a collectible or if you want to try a higher difficulty. But trust me one playthrough will be enough to get your fill..

- FUN -
🔲 I'd rather watch paint dry
🔲 Hard to enjoy
☑️ Repetitive
🔲 Actually pretty amusing
🔲 Ride of your life
🔲 To infinity and beyond!!!
This game has NO exploration. It’s basically this over and over again: Imagine like 10 small to big battle arena’s. Each level you go to one of these and kill endless waves of enemies until the level ends. There are maybe 2-3 levels where you actually move through an actual level to reach the end.
Is this fun? Yeah for the first 4 levels. After that it’s just the same thing over and over again. Also a lot of levels get recycled. Like day and night variations.

- REPLAYABILITY -
☑️ It's a one - time experience
🔲 Only for achievements
🔲 If you wait a few months / years
🔲 Definitely
🔲 Infinitely re-playable
There is only a single player mode. That you probably feel like playing through just once. If you even finish it that is.

- WORTH BUYING -
🔲 It's Free
🔲 No
☑️ Wait for sale
🔲 Yes

To clarify I was quite young when I first played this game and the skins helped a lot if you know what I mean. Now that I replayed it years later yeah it really doesn’t hold up.

Final Remark: Do not expect this to be on level with Bayonneta/Devil May Cary/Nier:Automata or the like. Combo’s and skills like in those games don’t exist in X-Blades. You just press the attack button over and over again and cast a spell/skill once in a while.

Also don’t forget that there is a superior, in every way, sequel out: Blades of Time.

So again only buy this if you accept it's not a triple A-title and if you like virtual boobies
+ don't forget the skins ; )

- OVERALL SCORE -
6/10

The much better hack and slash sequel to X-Blades. But still not quite there yet...

So don't expect it to be on the same level as Bayonneta/Devil May Cary/Nier:Automata and the like...

- DIFFICULTY -
🔲 My 90 year old grandma could play it
🔲 Easy
☑️ Normal
☑️ Hard
🔲 "Dark Souls"
The normal difficulty is quite doable. Only annoying thing is when there are a lot of enemies on screen they can like stun lock you. Unless your meter is high enough so you can do a special move this can lead to a death. Hard on the other hand can be brutally hard a few hits and you will be death.

- GRAPHICS -
🔲 "MS Paint"
🔲 Bad
🔲 Meh
🔲 Graphics don't matter in this game
☑️ OK
🔲 Good
🔲 Beautiful
🔲 Masterpiece
The graphics are ok for its time. Don’t expect some gorgeous graphics like in a triple A title.

- MUSIC -
🔲 Bad
☑️ Not special
🔲 Good
🔲 Beautiful
Nothing special, just enough to keep the battles exciting.

- STORY -
🔲 This game has no story
☑️ It's there for the people who want it
🔲 Umm Good?
🔲 Well written
🔲 Epic story
The game starts in the middle of the action like flat middle in the story. You really need to pay attention to piece it all together by the end. Which in my opinion isn’t ideal in a hack and slash game. It should have been more straightforward. That way it would have been more engaging.

- PRICE -
🔲 Free
🔲 Underpriced
☑️ Perfect price
🔲 Could be cheaper
🔲 Overpriced
🔲 Complete waste of money
I got it for 4bucks including the Swamp DLC. That’s quite bang for your bucks. So yeah I would get it on a sale for max 10 bucks.

- REQUIREMENTS -
🔲 You can run it on a microwave
☑️ Potato
☑️ Average
🔲 High end
🔲 "NASA" computer
This is from the early xbox360/PS3 area so most pc’s these days will have no issues running this at +60FPS.

- LENGTH -
🔲 Very short (0 - 3 hours)
☑️ Short (3 - 10 hours)
🔲 Average (10 - 20 hours)
☑️ Long (30- 50 hours)
🔲 Extremely long (50 - 100 hours)
🔲 Even longer!!!! (100+ hours)
🔲 It’s over 9000!!!! (9000+ hours)
If you are just doing the story mode once you are looking at 7-10 hours. If you are planning on doing hard mode and all the collectibles + trophies you are looking at around 30 hours.

- FUN -
🔲 I'd rather watch paint dry
🔲 Hard to enjoy
☑️Repetitive
☑️Actually pretty amusing
🔲 Ride of your life
🔲 To infinity and beyond!!!
It’s a hack and slash game. It’s fun, it’s simple. BUT it’s no Bayonneta/Devil May Cary/Nier:Automata or the like. So don’t put your expectations that high. It’s a budget hack and slash game.

- REPLAYABILITY -
🔲 It's a one - time experience
🔲 Only for achievements
☑️ If you wait a few months / years
🔲 Definitely
🔲 Infinitely re-playable
The game does has a multiplayer mode, but it’s not that fun and there aren’t many people online if any. So it comes down to the single player mode. And it all depends on how much you love to replay a hack and slash game.

- WORTH BUYING -
🔲 It's Free
🔲 No
☑️ Wait for sale
🔲 Yes
Like I said before just wait for a sale and get it with the DLC.

FINAL TIP: Check the guide section for skins you can use on this game ; )

- OVERALL SCORE -
7/10

Murray:
I'm a powerful demonic force! I'm the harbinger of your doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I STRIDE through the gates of hell carrying your head on a pike!

Guybrush Threepwood:
Stride?

Murray:
All right then, roll! ROLL through the gates of hell. Must you take the fun out of everything?


This is just one of the many funny quotes from the game. What more do you want???