🖕 Dave Johnson's No-Nonsense Zone 🖕
Ladies? ✋ Take a break.
Fellas? 🫵 Listen up.

Sup losers, it's Dave, your friendly neighborhood gaming savage. If you can't handle brutal honesty and a brapper full of attitude, just keep scrolling. This ain't your safe space, and I'm not here to coddle your WOKE sensibilities.

Expect witty banter, sarcastic remarks, and the occasional victory dance. If you can't handle the heat of my snark, stay out of the digital kitchen.
*Warning: My trash talk game is as strong as your daddy's cologne.
If your feelings get hurt, maybe gaming isn't for you? Just saying. ;)

*No amateurs allowed.*
Only the elite can roll with Dave Johnson. If you can't tell your FPS from your RPG, shut the front door. :)
I'm not here to carry anyone—I don't have a gamer-sized backpack, and I'm not getting paid to babysit.
If you're an acoustic scrub looking for a carry, look elsewhere. I play to win, and if you're holding me back, you'll get a one-way ticket to Blockville, lil bro.

My life revolves around respawn timers and save points. If you're lucky, I might make time for a snack break. *But beware, my snackies are my precious IRL loot. :3
I'm not here to make buddies. If you're looking for a gaming BFF, you've got the wrong Dave.