Recent reviews by Classic Jokester

Game crashes and says verify integrity of game files before loading into a match, verification gets stuck at 0% when trying to reverify to get back into a match. Upsetting when trying to play with friends and getting them stuck in a 4v5.

Also a new gun would be cool every now and then

Good game otherwise but review will stay negative until bug is fixed

UPDATE: I crashed joining a training map, re verified my files then joined a game and midway through the game crashes and when I startup just says (Downloading content 0%) causing me to abandon another match thanks Microsoft

UPDATE 2025 Happened again Ubisoft fix yo game

UPDATE MARCH 2025 Happened again EA fix yo Game

I hope no one summons a guardian while I'm sleeping.....

Enderal was a game I found going down the rabbit hole that is Skyrim modding. After slapping literally dozens of new coats of paint on it, I was tempted to try something new yet familiar. I was thoroughly surprised by the overall quality, and I consider it a must play for any fan of action RPGs. For the sake of the review, I will compare the game to Skyrim, as to highlight its strengths without the need for writing digital diarrhea.

Whats bad:
Sins of the father;
Remember who made Skyrim? Yeah they didn't do this game any favors with bugs, but Enderal gets around it for the MOST part, and I have had times where I had to reload or deal with a crash. Critical glitches include:
Quests getting stuck, usually due to an NPC getting stuck(sometimes literally)
Crashes, I had about ~10-20 in my 60 hours, sometimes tied to spell usage, but those circumstances never repeated.
Other minor issues such as enemies running in place, but that amde my life easy so I'll let it slide.

Cutscenes;
Now this may contradict what I will say further below, but there are some points, where you are stuck listening to conversations for over 5 minutes at a time with no interaction. This can be boring, and frustrating when the topic is important! Like shut up dude!

Phantasmalism, and other skill tree conflicts;
Regarding the phantasmalism tree, if you are a first time player I do not recommend picking it, it is extremely difficult to get a handle on and there are better options(I wasted levels in it and used console commands to fix it was hampering my stats so badly). On later playthroughs I'd recommend it though, as experience will make navigating it less of a chore while the perk levels steal precious stats early on. As for other conflicts make sure to examine the skill tree and prevent trying to spec into combos that do not work as efficiently as Skyrim (Heavy Armor/Sneak Block/Light Armor)

The singing children;
Their music teacher was a failure

Now whats good....
Everything else.

No seriously

The use of Talents instead of daily powers and high cooldown shouts makes combat more thrilling unique, the lack of easy health regen and increased difficulty makes up for the newfound power. Spell systems have been revamped, and are all more interesting than the vanilla counterparts, my favorite being Psionics, a more practical version of the illusion school. Melee users have stances for risk/reward gameplay, rogues new tools flashy and subtle. To keep it short, there's more planning possible with the system, combining various effects to create a myriad of results, especially when dual classing(I recommend dual classing as does the game, there are hidden combos to be found!). The gear also keeps up, with unique weapons and armor sets offering massive customization and uniqueness to each character.

Money means something now, since leveling is tied to merchants offering skillbooks, every level is EARNED and each one is very tangible. This makes every reward and item sold all the more worth the effort.

The writing BAR SOME CUTSCENES is excellent, from dialogue, to books and environmental storytelling, is top notch. I loved the characters, they all felt real, and long conversations with them felt worthwhile. From your band of allies, to NPCs you meet/take on quests, they all feel complex enough for what they were made, but simple enough to not melt the brain with boredom and exposition. The books are good too, albeit some may find them too long, I know I did when trying to read every one. The story is far more compelling, and will leave you excited and curious around every turn.

Quests are less repetitious, and are also rarer to come by, so they feel less day to day and mundane. When you get a bounty quest you KNOW there will be something interesting. My personal favorite being the mythical beast hunts, a must for anyone who loves a good boss hunt/fight, albeit they are not easy to find.

Location wise, barring some strange quest marker locations(I counted 2) are also designed excellently. Dungeons are concise compared to Skyrim, and don't waste time with room after room if there isn't a unique experience to gain from it. Lots of variety to be found. Since the game is much harder, it balances out. Exploration is always rewarded, whether a bit of treasure, EXP runes, lost souls, there's a lot to gain from exploring, and the side dungeons are shorter, they are much easier time wise to acquire. Exploring the world has merit too, from knowledge bonuses to unique hidden bossfights, to simply a good view.

I spent 62 hours on this game, most of them in the span of 3 weeks, and there were things I simply left undone not out of boredom, but the fact that the time I already spent was extremely satiating, and I did not need anymore. It's a game made with passion, and it shows.

I figured since I've got time, I'd write a review for one of my favorite games. I will start with the bad

CONS:
- Steep learning curves EVERYWHERE, from combat, archery, even crafting, where instead of the usual UI prompt you actually have to go through the motions and steps to make a potion or sharpen a sword. Definitely will throw new players for a loop, and can make first 10 hours difficult (I didnt make a single potion until 20 hours in)

- Can get rather buggy, some places more than others, and when they do happen its not the funny kind of bugs, but rather things like broken questhooks. Can be infuriating.

- Lots of empty space, exploration is not always rewarded extrinsically. Can be a turnoff for some.

- Quest types can really clash with your character's skillset and become frustrating. Nothing like giving a mission that can only be passed with stealth to a Plate armored Sword and Board Knight with 200 pounds of Equipment(♥♥♥♥ you Hans).

PROS:
- Combat, once learned is some of the best swordfighting on the market. Varied weapons, combos, perks and strategies make investment in weapon choice not only useful, but satisfying. Even fistfighting/brawling has its place, and is more than just a button masher. I spent 3 hours learning to shoot a bow efficiently, and by god did I enjoy it.

- What is a chore? While the game requires a player to eat sleep, bathe and maintain their equipment, these aren't super boring, and can make the planning process interesting managing supply types and understanding whats available where. Hell, you cant even read books at the beginning of the game, so you have to get lessons, and in return it pays dividends.

- The game as I've played, includes loads of unique quests and activities, from dealing with a fake holy artifact seller to combat tournaments to dealing with superstitious rumors. But forget about that even Ubisoft games have ♥♥♥♥ to do. Its the fact that what you do affects the world around you, and the world breathes with you. Reputation precedes you in this game, and people figure out who you are, for better or worse. If you win the Rattay tournament, you'll figure out what I mean.

- Last point I swear, I love the dialogue this game can deliver, Voice actors are crisp, and the conversations and characters can be fondly memorable, even if they rub you the wrong way first.

Just buy it, play it and have a ball roaming beautiful fields on horseback, and optionally, running down bandits on horseback in said beautiful field.

From the lack of polish on the OST release due to circumventing Mick Gordon and causing him to most likely quit the studio and now a Kernel level anti cheat for a multiplayer I never asked for and is not as good or full of content as the 2016 multiplayer; I have to not recommend this game. Game IS good don't get me wrong, but with the way its being handled, Ill stick to DOOM 2016 from now on. At least that ♥♥♥♥ has SnapMap mode.

I cant recommend this in good, faith, but it is ALMOST a gem, and has moments that really make you enjoy finding old games to play. Shooting is fine, combat can feel anywhere from crushing fat protesters to crying like a ♥♥♥♥♥ at 5hp. A fun ride for a while.

I stopped playing due to the cryptic objectives and even more cryptic levels. If you have a better memory, more patience and a love for Dredd this is ALMOST the game you need. Only buy if you have the time and patience to sit through the most pointless yet thought provoking problems such as "What does this objective even really mean?" watch a playthrough to catch my drift.

Either you quit like me, or reach Satori, cause this game is one hell of a Koan.

Your friend,
Datheavyguy

DOOM has GORE, GUNS and NO ♥♥♥♥. Combat is not just the core mechanic, it is the driving reason to play. A fantastic ride, the only downside is going into multiplayer and listen to people bark like its HALO 2 and they just finished their run with the JROTC

Your Friend,
Datheavyguy

Edit: Realized that i was very critical based on personal experience, so heres some things that are good about it:

Gwent is really cool here, great side content, at least initially
Graphics
Yennefers long legs in the intro scene

The actual quests themselves are more fun and intuitive than simple fetch or kill quests usually, at least in the intro area.

Now, as a bregrudged salaryman/student heres my rant:

Just play modded skyrim if you want faster gameplay, the game is too slow for a lot of people without the depth demanded of a slower game. If you want a serious RPG I recommend Kingdom Come Deliverance. Also i hate characters who blurt their back stories like the guy 30 minutes into the game who goes "OH NO I'M A FREAK" to a genetically modified monster hunter because they like butt stuff with other men. I didnt need to know that, i needed to know where the griffen went ♥♥♥♥ nugget.

Your friend,
Datheavyguy

High energy, High impact combat, with an almost serious story.

Combat is the bread and butter, slashing, parrying, combos and blade mode provide fun and engagement, the boss battles are the best examples of this, each one provides a new experience, a new skill to learn and perfect, and they KICK ASS

Story is Kojima on at least two stimulants and drunk, but in a good way. It moves fast, and has some of the cheesiest dialogue a protagonist can have while being unironic. "SHES NOT TALKING TO YOU IDIOT"

Soundtrack is great too, not everyone's cup of tea, but it blends well with the fights and actions you make.

This game helped me after I burnt out of college, and taught me that even though ♥♥♥♥ may seem bleak and ♥♥♥♥♥♥, at least you beat Monsoon

Your friend,
Datheavyguy

>Be ME
> Trying infinity wars
> Cant get 1 deck due to a bug
>Contact Customer support
> They hook me up with the deck swiftly, and even give me some others to make sure the bug doesnt affect other campaigns
>10/10 customer support

Also the game is better than Hearthstone right now, so look into it.