Products from ikea are generally ♥♥♥♥, but at least theyr'e recycled. Too bad it's recycled ♥♥♥♥, but at least ♥♥♥♥ can be someone's compost. To save the environment, please throw out your ikea furniture today and incinerate it, then plant seeds in the remaining slag.

Now, note carefully the difference between incineration and mere burning - the latter is for dumpster fires, the former is for clean, efficient, thorough combustion, preferably with filters installed. The ikea products themselves inherently supply the dumpster fire, even when not burning, so no need for extra effort on that.

If you're in doubt on what filter to use, a good start is the filters they use on portable ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, as these are inherently good at taking the brunt of it. If you don't have matches, simply take any standard ikea suspended lamp with bare metal, non-insulated wires and twist these so they cross, then wrap them in any ikea synthetic fabric that isn't cotton. Don't worry, none of them are cotton, you cannot go wrong here. Now turn the lamp on and wait for the short circuit to reach adequote temperature.

After a while, the fire will start in your kitchen. Once the fire has been lit, make sure your entire house was supplied by ikea, then walk out the front door. Make sure to leave the front door open, it will look better.
Now wrap the entire house in aluminium foil (heavy duty grill grade, but make sure it's not made by ikea), and connect a fan to the portable ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ filter to suck out the fumes through. Do a little dance and rejoice - your house is on fire.

Once you are done burning down the house, go to the kitchen and turn off that annoying beeper. These will unfortunately survive the fire, because people have tried to kill them in all sorts of ways, and they always survive. Once it is fully turned off, smash it with a hammer, and then turn it off again.

If everything was done properly, your house will now be mostly carbon with some valuable minerals in it. Use these as fertilized soil to plant various species of trees. You can cut some of these down later and build a house from them.

If you have no further use for the sawdust and chopped off end pieces, give them to ikea, they will gladly take them and somehow construct new furniture from them, which in time can become someone else's new house. They can then also burn their house down.

The cycle of life has now completed a full revolution. Be amazed at all that life has to offer, and recycle what you can. This is the true meaning of recycling, and it applies even to bicycles, though you will have to recycle them twice to complete one revolution.

If this is too much work, a revolution can also be completed by overthrowing your government. If their buildings are made by ikea, you will already know how to proceed. Remember to be respectful of human life, but not of ikea products.

🌸 💮 🌼 🪷 🏵️ 🌺 🌷 -all former ikea chairs

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-"You ever find that you have to do the wrong thing, in order to do something right?"
-"Sure i do ma. Just this morning I was lifting weights in the garage and I accidentally dropped a dumbbell on the hood of Josh's car. Something good will probably, ultimately, come out of that, right?"

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