Crab life is hard.
VVVV Probably why you are here. VVVV

Peaked SMFC (Goodbye GO) :(
Faceit lvl 9
like 3k Elo in boob jiggler 2
ESEA Unranked
90 Cranker
Avid Spongebob enjoyer
WM silver 3
CDL World Champ 3x
WWE Heavyweight Champ (2009)
CPL Winter Champion (2001)
Masturbator (Every other night)
Outlet Inspector
World Cup Enthusiast
Argentina Lover
Gaven Hughes' Lover <3
Messi fondler rating: 999
"Almost at 2k rated"
Squidward is the good guy
Proud Roiders United member
Philip Lover
Gay Sex Haver
Mountain Dew Chugging Champion 53x Up to 63x Now Up to 87x as of Jan 2024 ->108x Feb 2024 ->763x Jan 2025
Avid Gambler
I Have A Problem
I Need Help
Please help me
Castleminer Z Speedrunner (WR Holder 0:38:21.15)
Matt Turk Defeater
Amelia Earhart Consumer
H.A.A.A 3x Finalist (2x Champions)
2x Little League Champion
6x Budget PC Builder
The Cookie Clicker
Moon Lord Defeater
Mbappe Abuser
4x Ballon D'or
6x WC Winner (2022-2026-2030-2098)
9x UCL Champion
1 Open Season (Didn't Even Make Playoffs) (Retired 2022)
I almost failed Calc 2
Like 90% winrate on Mirage
GTA Hooker sex speedrun wr holder (00:00:03.20)
The C Programming Beginner
Had Sex with Aidan Werner 3x
Tony Baloney Belly Button Fondler
Joey Woahy Nostril Consumer
♥♥♥♥ Grabber
Cancer Vaporizer
The Dovahkiin
Arch Mage of Winterhold University
Thane of Whiterun
Thieves' Guild Member
I'm also Kitty Hardpaws
Ti-84 Programmer
BOCW Nuke Dropper (3v3 HC ICBM Faceoff was it)
Spaghetti Wizard
Windex Enthusiast
Donald Glover's Right Hand Man
Aerox 3 Enjoyer
Vuse Abuser
Take Your Daily Vitamins & Supplements!!!
Slave to Reyna from Valorant
I have ashy knees
Mcdonalds Fry Cook
Semi-Truck Driver (I dont have a CDL)
Lawn Mowing Enthusiast
Project Ozone 3 quitter
Chicken Nugget Eater
BBQ Bather
Golden Shower Receiver
I use Laptop Speakers instead of Headphones
Tony
"♥♥♥♥ dude, my Juul pods running out"
"It's okay, I have some at home."
Simple to C9 Russian players Schmussian Smlayers
Actuarial Exam Taker
Software Engineer (I work at Bob Evans)
Let Go - Ark Patrol enjoyer
If I was any character from Spongebob i'd be Larry the Lobster
Bornana inventor
Coined the term "Viva la Vida"
Cody's Bathtub Camera
Hitler Shooter
One armed frycook (at the aforementioned mcdonalds)
Battlin' Buccos Viewer
Faraday's Law Hater
Jared Jones' Personal Assistant
I have $1.47 in my Steam account
I cant stop opening cases
I have a problem
Proud Republican
"Oh, you have a Nader too?"
I am reformed
I was bound by those doomed to fall
I am free
I quit
Renalla was easy
I hate my life
27-24 Colts.
Stampy Viewer
Tony Toe Tapper
Liquid Adhesive Enthusiast
C++ Hater
C==D (I only have one ball)
LoZ(OOT) Is the best video game in history
Unity Quitter
Project Ozone Quitter
Notepad++ Enjoyer
I have 126,721 Runes in my back pocket
I 69'd someones grandmother one time
Backrooms Speedrunner
Backrooms 100%er
640x480 hater
Philip, you hurt me.
Bronze Beater -> Emerald Edger in 2:03:01:12.188
ctrl + shift + windows + alt + L
If you ever saw me in real life you'd ♥♥♥♥ yourself.
60% edshot avg. (I shoot slow)
Yup that's a headshot. Alt + F10
Sertraline HCL Enjoyer
Aquaphor is the cure to chapped lips
GTA V Gambling champ 2024
Schedule I Gambling Champ 2025
Monkey Ball Inspector
Tony's Muse
Lifetime Rubik's Cube Turns: 2,304,112
12,412 Hog Cranks as of 6/18/25
Anthony's Slave Boy
Tongue Puncher