CheeryChill
 
 
It's okay to not like things.
It's okay, but don't be a ♥♥♥♥ about it.
it's okay to not like things~
But don't be a ♥♥♥♥ about the things you don't like.
Completionist Showcase
Screenshot Showcase
DARK SOULS™ III
Review Showcase
-"A special kind of third-person action shooter: set out in breathtaking pursuit of dangerous terrorists!"

Bull. There is nothing new about this and it's only breath taking because of how BORING it is that you'll be wasting all your breath yawning.


-"Diverse missions and a series of new assignments: complete all the challenges; action-packed Combat missions, stealth missions and hot pursuits in vehicles! "

Challenges? There are none. It's not diverse at all. Run in and kill everyone. That's every single mission. EVERY SINGLE MISSION. They are completely lying that there is any stealth.


-"A massive arsenal of different weapons and vehicles: use all the means available to you to catch the criminals!"

There's like six weapons. That's it and I'd hardly call that "massive".


-"Hours of gameplay fun: either solo or with friends: complete 9 single-player levels and show what you’re made of in 3 different online Multiplayer modes!"

Hours as in five. That's about how long the game will take most players. It's only taking me longer because of a lag/optimisation issue which results in a lot of restarts.


-"Detailed graphics: fight in realistic settings from Greenland to Libya!"

They're completely mediocre. Boring and bland. And so many boring hues of brown terrain.

Well. That's me disputing the description. Onto the review.



Finished the game on toughest or whatever and got all the achivements so let's start this trainwreck of a review.

Let's start with the good. The graphics aren't terrible.
The achivements are all relitetively easy.

That's it. On to everything else. In otherwords.

THE BAD.

First for me is LAG. For some reason at least for me, It was horrifyingly laggy. everytime I tried to move the camera ended up with a huge lag spike. It finally fixed itself when I changed the affinity to two cores and back to eight while the game was open. Who knows if that fix will stick though.
(Update. It didn't. Seems like it's a texture issue. A very poor one.)

Facial animation. There is none. At all. If they speak it's a blank face. ALL THE TIME.

That brings me to the next point. Voice acting. It's HORRIBLE. They sound bored and not at all natural. And even though the game involves a russian and libyan in a cutscene they both speak english with really poor accents.

Weapons. They don't feel like they have ANY impact. It's like your shooting marshmallows. And on top of this the weapons themselves are kinda crappy for accuracy. Have an enemy a bit of a distance away? Be prepared to waste half your magazine hopeing that one of the bullets hit the enemy you're aiming straight at. Sniper isn't bad but obviously a pain in close quarters.

The story itself. Completely and utterly forgettable. Bland and boring.

A.I. - Utterly horrid. Half the time they just run past my ally and run to me. Sometimes they'll just APPEAR next to me. As you play harder difficulties the game doesn't make their AI any better. Just stronger weapons. That's it.

In game dialouge. It's like they got a bunch of teenagers to write it. Every other word is either a swear word or a ridiculously stupid joke. It's not even fun to listen to.

UPDATE

They didn't pay any attention to detail. There was one moment where I noticed that the character's head was the SAME height as the doorhandle. The couch nearby reached up to his waist. The turret gunners, if you get close to them you can tell that the character's are only standing there with their normal guns in their hands. There was no attempt to make it seem like they were holding it at all.

There was a few moments where enemies came in a car and the door opened and closed. No one came out or anything. The four enemies just appeared outside it.

There are some parts. The vehicle parts. They aren't nearly as good as some say. The enemies are hard to hit while moving and due to the lack of impact you don't know if you hit them. There is no on screen reticle while fireing in a vehicle aside from the first one. UPDATE. When you're in a tank later you actually have a reticle.


Overall. This is a painful experience that I urge no one to attempt.
CheeryChill 18 Aug, 2020 @ 3:34pm 
Oh, I figured. Or hoped at least that someone wouldn't be that creepy.
firebug 18 Aug, 2020 @ 3:28pm 
Welcome to the world of copypastas
CheeryChill 18 Aug, 2020 @ 3:20pm 
That's the creepiest ♥♥♥♥♥♥ message I've ever gotten.
firebug 18 Aug, 2020 @ 7:09am 
hello! sorry for scare, but just notice profile on the Steam Community. you know how hard it are to find girls who play video game nowadays??? well, Im glad I stumble apon this little prof cause I gotta say.... ur prety cute!! ^ ((sorry for scare, no trouble ) well... I was wondering if u wanted to play tf2 with me (Im a plat sniper, so I can carry my little princes if need. =-}) CUZ I really want someone to pub wit me.. hey hey, maybe even I could get you unusual as little gift. you like Buring? Me too, me too. anyways any, do you maybe have Skype? (no scare. no scare, I iust like meating eye to eye.) if we skype, I think we could have some good buddy commucation. :)) ( i can even turn down my dubstep music in the background if you want...) add me if you want please, I jsit need friend maybe even girlfriend, to play video with.m I can be the perfect guy for you, trust!! ill buy whatever, do whatever, okay?? jsit pick up that phone and CALL.
CheeryChill 27 Apr, 2018 @ 11:04pm 
Well then. Alrighty.
lil fasty⛧ 26 Apr, 2018 @ 7:06am 
Oof