If you've somehow managed to stumble upon my profile, apologies. Prepare to be disappointed:
Louder than God's revolver, and twice as shiny.
Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.
5'4 Ball of rage.
Old, but not wise.
Ugliest crier.
A big ole' wimp, with too many emotions.
Butts are cool, but don't be one.
Your Mom.