TEAM BABY DRAMA

Ok, so I decided today that I'd get some easy achievements on L4D, and also practice my straight-shooting. So I load up an Easy Single Player game, No Mercy campaign as it's the only one I know back-to-front.

I reckon I can get the No Incapped, CR0WNED and possibly Untouchables - maybe the No Vomit one if I'm careful. Y'know, the supposedly easy achievements I suck at getting.

So I'm cruising along, shooting zombies left, right and centre - killing everything in my path, avoiding Hunters, Smokers and Boomers. I get vomitted on but figure it's no big deal, I can get that at another date.

Just coming up to the panic event, and can hear good ol' Johnny complaining about his hair and stating he's not coming out. It's freaky as hell, even on easy, being surrounded by AI in an incredibly atmospheric game. Start sneaking up to the bit with the mounted machine gun, and spy a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of molotovs. Excellent!

Rush in, grab molotov. Very cool moves from yours truly.

Then I spot Johnny, he's beating his chest behind one of the big gas tanks. Hm. He hasn't spotted us, and Francis (I was playing Louis) takes out the zombies surrounding him. I can probably chuck a molie in his direction and then "chip it".

She shoots. She scores!

We run. Francis and Bill keep up with me. The dumb ♥♥♥♥♥ tries to take on the flaming Tank single-handedly. She takes some damage but survives and pops some pills. The panic event goes smoothly, and we grab some more molies.

Doing pretty well so far. Hm, though there's definitely a Witch around here somewhere. I can hear her whining, and she sounds pretty close. Perfect! I can get CR0WNED. But... I'm not very good at shooting straight, maybe we should just skip her and hope Zoey doesn't wander off to try and bang her.

Decide to avoid Witch. Find Witch. Witch has decided to set up shop in our direct path. She's right in the middle of a very narrow corridor, with no option of going around her. To avoid her, we'd have to jump over her head. ♥♥♥♥ that.

Gotta get CR0WNED then, I guess.

So I sneak up, get myself into position and turn my flashlight on. She's stirring. She's standing up. I aim... and wait... trying desperately not to move my mouse even the slightest bit... she's nearly there, nearly there... get ready to sh--

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HUNTER!

I hadn't heard him. He pounces on me, so I land directly ON the Witch. She startles. She comes after me. She incaps me.

I ragequitted.