I sexually identify as a Pot Noodle, ever since I was a young noodle I dreamed of sliding over the countertop, greasing my hot slimy loads on the disgusting marble surface. People say to me that being a Pot Noodle is impossible, and that I'm retarted, but I dont care, I am beautiful. I am having a plastic surgeon install sachets of soy sauce, and Ramen packets on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Ramenski" and respect my right to steam up the room, and grease needlessly. If you can't accept me, you're a Ramenophobe, and need to check your sustenance privellages. Thank you all for being so understanding!