- When Jesse Perring runs over a mushroom, Teemo dies.
- When Jesse Perring enters a game, the Baron ragequits.
- Items in the shop pay Jesse Perring to be used.
- Jesse Perring's ELO is longer than pi.
- When Jesse Perring gets in range, turrets target themselves.
- When Jesse Perring uses Karthus's ultimate, several people in Asia die.
- When Blitzcrank uses Rocket Grab, he is pulled to Jesse Perring.
- Jesse Perring plays League of Legends with the monitor off.
- Guardian Angel armor is really Cloth Armor that Jesse Perring has touched.
- Jesse Perring uses Ashe's Frost Arrow to hit opponents in next week's game.
- Jesse Perring has gotten a dodecakill in a one-on-one game.
- Kanye West cannot interrupt Jesse Perring, because everyone knows that Jesse Perring is the best LoL player of all time
-When Jesse Perring looks in the direction of an enemy Annie, her Tibbers eats her