Welcome to the Reformed Neo Buddhism

Getting into the religion requires a "re-birthing" ceremony where the inductee is submerged in water. The members are in separate communities called "hives". A promotion system is used to rank each member with numbers corresponding to a level they have attained so far. A ceremony is held annually where prospective members can be promoted to the next level. Those members are required to fast and detoxify before the ceremony. A Level Six Laser Lotus gains special powers after being promoted including immunity to germs, heightened psychic ability, and improved night vision. Followers wear formal attire consisting of a teal Nehru jacket and matching pants. Members with a level over five are given special robes to wear. The followers await the return of Buddha and believe that when he reappears people will turn into a shimmering ocean of knowledge that tastes like Hawaiian Punch. Reformed Neo-Buddhists believe that a mixture of salt water and honey is enough to fulfill most nutrition needs, and its effect is heightened if it leaves the body in an improper manner.