Hello everyone. I know it's been a while, years actually. Regrettably, this is going to be a little long winded, but you guys probably know that about me by now.

First I'd like to apologize from the bottom of my heart for my absence. For many reasons (a lot of stuff in personal life), I just stayed away. The longer I stayed offline, the harder it has gotten to get back into it. That's what this discussion thread is about.

I know this isn't just about me, it's about us all. It's what it's always been about. I know people have really enjoyed my content in the past, and I letf it all behind. I know that wasn't right, but I'm only human and there has been personal things that made me step back completely. So, I'm sorry.

I've changed, the world has changed, the internet has changed. I'm writing this post because I would like to get back online, but I for the longest time I haven't really figured out how and what that would look like, and I want this to be a positive step in my life. I know this is a smaller community, so please, spread the word to anyone who might care, and let's get this discussion going.

I figured I start with an explanation for my absence before I start a discussion about coming back into the online fold,. so to speak.

The reason I stopped streaming is because I felt inauthentic and guilty, basically. I felt I was going into character every time I turned on the camera. I felt that I wasn't in control of myself. Feeling like my authentic self has become a very important part of my life and growth. I would like to share it. And going into autopilot just didn't feel good. I felt, and still feel, this wasn't fair to me and to those people watching.

The reason I stopped making gaming videos is that at the time, I was getting out of a high stress situation running a restaurant, and making videos that took so much time practicing and making just right was just too much. As for the personal development videos (and why I took them offline) is because I reached a point in my growth where it just didn't feel right sharing, where it needed to be a personal endeavor.

As for the future. I'd like to ask of you all two favors. If I were to move forward and get back into the online sphere, can you all help me keep on track, stay authentic. Be part of my conscience that if you start to see me get into a pattern of behavior, that it's alright to just be myself.

And secondly, what about my content, Youtube and Twitch, meant the most to you? Was it the practiced gameplay videos? Was it streaming games I appreciate? Was it when I would bear my soul and bring you into my growth? Was it where I would just go off tangent and just speak to you guys on stream? Or was it something else?

Let the conversation begin. And I'll try my best to actually be online in Steam if anyone would like to speak to me away from this thread.

Thanks for listening.

We are the greatest fanbase to ever exist.

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Elbryan42

We're going to be famous.