Aperture Science Testing Group ID#21467

We here at Aperture will always make science! (Except for Sundays)

--APERTURE SCIENCE INNOVATORS--
You may have heard of some of our products such as our Dieting Food Cell Destructor or our patented Bullet Absorption Pants. Over here at our testing facilities, we use top quality test subjects. Ever hear of Olympic gold medalists or war heroes gone missing? Well, blame it on Aperture Science! Huh, now that you think about it, it kind of sounds like it's a bad thing... But it was all worth it because it was FOR SCIENCE!

--TESTING INITIATIVES--
"Why do you test?" you may ask. "Because we need to, dummy!" I would respond with an irritated tone. Science may be great, but it's dangerous as hell, but that's where you come in! We have products, and you have testing potential, put the two together and boom! You get progress and several lawsuits stacked up against us. If anything, we feel like we're helping you. You get to witness Aperture Science first hand and depending on what you're being tested on, you can walk out with possible super powers or several Aperture grade third degree burns along with the loss of a limb or two! Just remember, it's for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.

--FINANCIAL INFORMATION--
Now we know that Aperture Science has a history of financial problems, that's because science is also expensive. We work hard to keep our products top quality yet still within our budget. We can't do it without your help of course. The test subject is who we use to make sure that our product works so it can make our world go round. That sure is a mouthful. With the help of our loyal bank managers, we've made this clever little system to distribute pay. The more extreme the science, the more you get paid. You get a better salary by testing an apple powered missile launcher suited up to your arm rather than a syringe which turns your blood into gasoline. See, this is why we have accountant nerds! Now you're probably wondering how we're going to pay them for working overtime, we're still figuring that one out.

--KEEP CALM AND TEST SCIENCE--
Aperture Science is a proud company and we will not stop testing. Nor rain, snow, neurotoxins, rogue A.I., panel corruption, or hovering lemon bombs. We pride ourselves with the ultimate advancements in the science world. If science doesn't work, use more science! Use so much science that whatever you're using science on just simply turns into some more science. Suit up, goggles on, gloves snapped, bulletproof vest sturdy, and neon socks worn. Let's do some science, people.

--APERTURE SCIENCE: WE DO WHAT WE MUST BECAUSE WE CAN--

Head Researcher: Ebido the Milkman Lawyer
Assistant: Dr. C
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Advisor: Jack Sparrow
Accountant: [WDZ] OrangeJuice

This short description was provided by Aperture Science Innovator ID#122199: Ebido the Milkman Lawyer