The Pentarchal Commissariat of Commissioned Commissars

December 7th, a day that lives in infamy. On this day in the year 2013 the Pentarchy of Commissars convened and established the Commissariat.

Mission Statement: To operate operationally with operators. Airborne.

The Pentarchy:

Commissar Bulk SquatThrust: A man who single handidly held of an advance of a Fascisti division with his dick and loli catgirl porn. Rumor has it that he is a Space Marine. Bulk's muscles contribute over 16 car equivelants of methane to the atmosphere a year causing the deaths of at least 2 undiscovered species.

Commissar Mobius-1: A man from a decrepit and depraved place called Pennsylvania. Life there had made this man into a literall piece of steel. Rumor has is that he can live off of coal pollution.

Commissar Halthron (of Beverage Containers): Not much is known about this man's origins as they are shrowded by a cylindrical object much like a cup. Rumor has it that he is frightning. Also the Pentarchy's Keeper of Stories.

Commissar of Glocks and Ravens: Sitting high atop a mountain of peons, Also a Grand Master, and part time Walrus, he is Inevitable. Rumor has it that the mystical unicorn is local to him, yet the only confirmed sightings of such have been produced by leprechauns and fraudulent advertisers.

Commissar of DoggieBag: He was born in, according to TIME, "the year that changed the world". So far, he has managed to change underwear and clothing sizes. Rumor has it that he is slowly being absorbed into the underground world of internet porn.