STEAM GROUP
DirtyDingos™ DirtyDingos™
STEAM GROUP
DirtyDingos™ DirtyDingos™
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16 November, 2016
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Location
Australia 
ABOUT DirtyDingos™

Dingos travel in packs of 2d4+1, usually consisting of an alpha pair and its offspring. It is a common misconception that dingos eating babies is bad; this is in fact a valuable social service rendered at no charge to you. Just leave the gate open, 'kay?

The truth of the matter is that dingos are executing a deep psychological need to get back into that big playpen from whence they all came. They just don't like sharing the playpen with some screaming brat. The fact that dingos have sharp teeth for ripping through reinforced steel playpen bars and eating babies (their preferred food source) is merely a pleasant coincidence.

Some of the more popular dingo activities include rugby, attacking department stores and organizing militias. When they get really drunk they might get up the courage to go give one of the local bunyips a toss, but no worries, eh?

Dingos are known for their poor sense of humor, as their favorite genre of joke is the dead baby joke. If you want to get anywhere in Dingotopia and not get eaten, it helps to have an encyclopedic knowledge of dead baby jokes and a good sense of comedic timing; a traveller must be able to balance the dingos' capacity for entertainment with the prospect that dead baby jokes may come to remind them that they haven't eaten for a while.

All dingos have a deep-seated pathological terror of trashy young American female celebrities. A herd of dingoes had to be rushed to the Dingotopia Veterinary Hospital's ER after accidentally being exposed to television coverage of Nicole Richie. Most of them eventually made full recoveries after Dr. Phil's heartrending three hour special chronicling their trauma led Dr. Spock to perform round-the-clock Vulcan mind-melds. Sadly, several of them resisted the mind-melds with a violent round of projectile vomiting and had to be committed to psychiatric institutions. In a related story, a pack of teenage dingos made headlines after being pursued by a psychotic Lindsay Lohan, who reportedly had plans to breed them and eat the babies.
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1 Comments
Skitz 16 Nov, 2016 @ 8:33am 
Good job Dingas
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