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-Shaq once punched a man so hard he broke into little pieces, so Shaq glued him back together and did it again

-Shaq and Chuck Norris once had a face off, and Chuck Norris shed a tear because Shaq kicked him in the crotch so hard

-Godzilla attacked Shaq, but he kicked him and Godzilla died 7 times

-someone once shot Shaq, so he took the bullet out and threw it back at him

-Shaq can die, he just thinks it's a sign of weakness so he doesn't

-Shaq's fanbase is so massive it extends to every other planet in the universe.

-Shaq has his own religion created by his followers, the religion being the largest one on the planet, people decide not to acknowledge this, mostly because they are a buch of hipster bastards

-Shaq doesn't hurt innocents because he sees it as a big joke to hurt the guilty, and we all know how much he loves jokes

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