So it seems we have lost him.

At the Funeral
When you go to the funeral of a friend’s brother, expect to see tears. Say a few words of sympathy to each family member, but unless you’re very close to the family, keep it very brief and step aside for others to offer their condolence.

Examples of what to say:

I’m so sorry for your loss.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
We’ll all miss him very much. He was such a kind and gentle person.
I have such fond memories of your brother.
I’ll always remember him as one of the nicest people I knew.
He was such a great mentor to all the new people at the office. We’ll miss him very much.

If you’re close to someone who recently lost a brother, offer to help with whatever is needed. They may want you to assist with the guest book or help seat mourners at the funeral.


There are some things you should never say to someone who lost a close family member. Even though you might mean well, it comes across as cold and unsympathetic.


What not to say:

He’s in a better place.
You’ll feel better in a few weeks.
Cheer up. It’s not like you were close to him.
He was sick for a long time. Life will be easier now.
Simple and Basic Condolence Messages
When you know someone who has lost a brother, you should send a brief condolence note. If you’re close to the survivor or if you knew the brother who passed away, you might add more to the message.

Here are some basic condolence messages for the loss of a brother you didn’t know:

I’m thinking of you and your family during this time.
Please accept my condolences for the loss of your brother.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m praying for you and your family.
I know how close you were to your brother. I’m praying for God to give you the strength to get through this difficult time.
It’s very difficult to find the right words during this difficult time. Just know that I’m truly sorry for what you’re going through and that I’ll be thinking of you.