All Must Bend Over For Shrek

Welcome brothers and sisters to The Church of our Ogrelord, the church were we worship our Ogre and Savior Shrek. Here we follow the simple rules that the Earth is Shrek's swamp, and that all must bend over and let his ogresized love whistle penetrate us from behind. So please respect and follow these 10 Ogremandments set by our lord Shrek.

1) Thou shall bend over in the prescense of Shrek
2) Thou shall surrender thou ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ when Shrek is near
3) Thous shall follow the sayings of Shrek
4) Everyone's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is Shrek's swamp
5) Thou shall respect thy Shrek
6) Thou shall only give their virginities to Shrek
7) Thous shall only lie with Shrek
8) Thous shall worship Shrek for breakfest, lunch, and dinner
9) Shrek created the universe with his love juices
10) Shrek is love, Shrek is life

May you join our group so you can walk your own enlightend path with our beloved Shrek. Our sermons are only on Sunday from 11-3 pm, sign up to our church will get you a free Shrek Bible, a ball-point pen, a free dragon dildo, and a one month free prescription to the smash hit magazine franchise, Ogre's Health.




This page is ran by Shrek's Head of Ministries: Kyle the Creator and The Gray Slayer