Hello the my acquainted fellow manly men and womanly women.

After going to the dangerous deep land of the eternal purging flames, wrestling thousands of ferocious screaming being of dark thafom, then resting in the forever upon the land of the souless while combating the army of the dead and giving the mighty creator a shoryuken for the nookie.

Then finally, dancing metaphorically with the billion-th of a quintillion searing cast blades burning like ember to the immense calibre of fine shards of silk using nothing but shear Triceps, Biseps and the almighty power of Odin to guide them unto the dust of plain of the cold embark.

Grasping the thick mixture of carbonited oxidated fuel for the a tight soring fuction of the respiratory advancement to conjure mind, body and will to let me embelish on the sweet freedom of sentience, rising from a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute,just sit right there,I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air!

In west Philadelphia born and raised on the playground was where I spent most of my days, chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool and all shootin some basket ball outside of the school when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood.
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared.
She said "ou're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air"

I begged and pleaded with her day after day, but she packed my suit case and sent me on my way.
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket,
I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it".
First class, yo this is bad, drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
"Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?"
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so,I'll see when I get there, I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air.
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out, I ain't trying to get arrested yet, "I just got here", I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared!?!?!?
I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror if anything I could say that this cab was rare,
but I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, home to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo home smell ya later', I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there

To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air


And that's why i've been away... QUESTIONS???

Well, congrats to Unkoun, the winner of the Holiday Giveaway. I would say better luck next time to the rest of you, but only 3 people entered......so yeah, nice one guys. Anywho, if Unkoun doesn't claim his prize in the next few days, I'll pick a new winner, so enter below if you still want that tiny glimpse of hope. Peace off.

Well, Christmas is almost upon us. Whether you celebrate it or not, Christmas day (or the day after) will be when I choose the winner of the Orcs Must Die 2 giveaway. I really don't know why you guys don't want to enter, but.....whatever. Anyway, have a good next few days and enjoy whatever it is that you manly men do.

Sincerely, the one, the only,
The Mantis Shrimp

EDIT: Um, I forgot, actually it's the 1st or 2nd......still.....yeah...

Well, it is now official. The Orcs Must Die 2 Giveaway is going to be pushed back until the New Year, January 1st....or 2nd. I'll probably be asleep or dead on the 1st, so.....we'll see. Oh, yeah, it's also called the Holiday Giveaway now.....CONGRATS, YA WELCOME. Enter below. 'Tis all. Happy Zwanzaa, motherf@$&ers.

Sincerely, the one, the only,
The Mantis Shrimp

Has a mans key8oard 8reaks
We all must never use the letter 8ee
we instead must use 8
8 is the manliest num8er in the world.
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If you are caught using the num8er on the right of V...
Punishment:
1 .NONMAN point
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