Gabe Newell

Gabe cheats at tic-tac-toe.
Gabe throws like a girl.
Gabe hates little kids, dogs, and old people.
Gabe cries during Lassie.
Gabe eats yellow snow.
Gabe cries over spilled milk.
Gabe prefers the metric system.
Gabe breastfed until he was 13.
Gabe likes interpretive dance.
Gabe rarely bathes.
Gabe is a vegetarian.
Gabe can't wait for the dawning of the age.
Gabe thinks hard work is for suckers.
Gabe can't tell time.
Gabe thinks Errol Flynn is dreamy.
Gabe buys things not made in the USA.
Gabe pees sitting down.
Gabe breathes through his mouth.
Gabe wants to live in the south of France.
Gabe has never heard of Google.
Gabe calls hot dogs frankfurters.
Gabe eats tofu.
Gabe needs to diet.
Gabe pracices making out with his hand.
Gabe has a pet turtle named Shelly.
Gabe wets the bed.
Gabe is too scared to watch The Wizard Of The Oz.
Gabe talks to his mom on the phone 3 hours a day.
Gabe watches the radio and listens to TV.
Gabe never brushes his teeth.
Gabe uses medicated deodorant.
Gabe fears commitment.
Gabe gives himself dutch ovens.
Gabe drinks paint thinner.
Gabe goes to bed at 7:30.
Gabe stole the Lindbergh baby.
Gabe is a COMMUNIST!