Bacons law states that anything at all can be enhanced by the adding of a form of bacon to it. It is this law we are sworn to uphold and judge all else as heresy

Bacon. Bacon proves the existence of god conclusivley. The smell of bacon proves that aromathereapy is not total ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Bacon proves the existence of god. Jesus died on Friday and rose agian on a Sunday. Cant take that away from him. But how? Bacon means that you can kill yourself (with alcohol) on a Friday night and be fully resurrected on Saturday morning with a single bacon sandwich.

When you collapse, drunkenly to the floor and drag yourself to your bathroom and then begin the assault to climb the rim of the tub. As you collapse onto the cool ceramic you wonder if you will ever see the light of day again, you are crucified to the tub, dead to teh world.

And then in the morning the miracle begins. A loved one, a friend puts on the gas, puts on the frying pan, puts bacon on that frying pan. And as the bacon begins to sizzle and sputter the bacon aroma leaps out into the kitchen. Wafts through the house and find syou there, lying in the tub. And the bacon sees you, and the bacon knows why it was sent to this planet. The bacon knows why it spent 3 years living inside a pig, it knows why it was sent to this earth to save you.

As you take your final dozen breaths the baon scent darts though your nostrils, deep into your brain and touches the bacon receptor. And the bacon receptor says "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! ITS BACON! ITS BACON! YOU LOVE BACON, EVERYONE LOVES BACON (there might be eggs as well)" And as you feel it the, bacon force makes it way through your body into the tips of your fingers. you know that thanks to gods greatest gift, bacon, you are alive you are back from the dead. And now brave grabbers, go forth and spread the word of the holy bacon. Let it be known that Bacon is the savior.


**Grammar (I typed this at 12 on a Saturday night. It was a miracle I managed to find the spacebar.


Current Club Roles
Captain & Lead Pimp: SHAYYY
Vice Captain: Orkslayer
Vice Pimp: Quodz
Mascot: TimeTroll
Freshman #1: Brandon
Freshman #2: Omnom
Dungeon Master: Vercci
Master Jew Shaman Who Blesses The Bacon(But does not eat it): Death 101010