Originally posted by Evoxrus XV:

Hey bro, terribly sorry to hear that.

Listen, you are upset that you feel isolated? Alone? That your not like your sister?
We should get some things straight.
What do you want?
Who do you want yourself to be?
What would satisfy and make you happy?

Judging from your thread, I am guessing you wish to be more like your sister, that you want to be like her and experience what she is expeirencing. You want more friends or friends that are close and you can confide in. You want to have a partner to care and love for you, you want have more social interactions and be fun. But first, is this what you want? Or is this what you want because you think it must be better for you if it fits everyone else? But you probably want friends and go to social events and that is something most people want. Follow who you want yourself to be, chase the things you want, make efforts to do so, do not model yourself on others just because they look better, model yourself on who you want to be and what you think makes you the happiest and the best version of yourself. Once you find that out, make efforts to go there or do certain things. And find more friends that would actually listen to you and care deeper, there are 7 billion people on earth, there has to be one that would care deeply for you as a friend or a spouse.

From what I see you want to be more like your sister, " She's sociable, friendly, smart. She has friends from all over the world. She throws/goes to parties. She's creative, ambitious, assertive. She's a good person." l. If you want to follow that path then try this:
If you want to be sociable and friendly, you got to start by yourself and you need to make your own effort or ask another friend who would support you better or even your sister. Try walking up to a person you see often in class or in another venue or someone you just usually are very close by but never chat. Then walk up, say you see him/her a lot and that you should know them better. Try and act slightly silly/funny but make it a failed attempt on purpose but it should get though. Then just ask them about themself and stuff, ask them what they think preferebly things that you two seem to share such as if you see him/her in class often or pass each other, ask about them and then make tell opinons about them(Make it complimentary or interesting observations) and then ask them what they like and see if there is a similarity between you two.

If you must, prepare some questions to ask before hand or improvise quickly and come with another, but act confident like as if you already knew, like as if you stubbed your toe but try to walk normally. Afterwards, walk away when you have to like when class ends for example, but make sure you see and talk to them again, ask about them and make sure you look and make eye contact with them, make them feel on the spot. Then afte meeting them once or three times, ask for their phone number and every once in a while send them a text message and talk about random stuff that you feel is approrpiate.

Creative: Subjective, but creativity can be anything. Even a non-creative person can have friends and be fun to be around, but everyone has some creativity in them. The creative part, just use it to make witty jokes at times or come up with random ideas or come up with events/pranks/ideas/meetups/movies to watch, thats all really.

Friendly: To be honest, do you want friends? Do you like talkng to people a lot and making them and you happy? Some people are friendly because they are, some are not becaue they are, what do you want? Do not force yourself to be friendly and want friends if you feel like you need to just because others look better doing it, do what makes you happy, remember that. But if you want to be friendly like her, just smile and greet people by their names a lot and when talking, be polite, ask about them, reach out or go to them in their time of need, approach them if they seem lonely and just look cheerful and happy and keep approaching and striking conversations with everyone, if that is what you want.

Assertive/ambitious/confidence: Just go fuck all and just do your thing, think you know what your doing, give the idea of "Why the fuck not?" and force yourself to do things you are not comfortable in. When assertive, just keep pushing your point and trying to give reasons of why you are right sometimes, though not all the time you are right and if you are wrong, you will gain more respect by admitting it. But be a leader, go to events or groups, work, put ideas down, work on them, think "Why the fuck not?" "Fuck it, I am doing this and I don't give a shit" and just go and do what you think you want for yourself or others, be ambitious and aim for a higher position. Rely on the fact that you can do it again. Try it.

Good person: If you want to be a good person if you want, think of tohers before yourself. Think about others always, make efforts to make them happy, focus on others and just be nice to everyone and animals too, help, care, friendly, all that.

Your going through some hard times and we all been there, if you need some support, you can also always ask your Steam friends or some members in this group or me. If you need to chat, I am always there for you, I and others will hear you out, help you and try not to dismiss you. Take care, good luck and I hope the best comes for you.

I... thank you, Evo. I really appreciate it.

Originally posted by owen:

Originally posted by The Space Butterfly (Salt Lord):

First line you blind shit.

what age are you though

16.

Originally posted by G_lad:

How old is your sister? Is he her first boyfriend?

First line you blind shit.

She's 14, and she just got her second boyfriend. Her crush texted her and asked her out. She happily accepted.

She's 14, and this is her second boyfriend. She's sociable, friendly, smart. She has friends from all over the world. She throws/goes to parties. She's creative, ambitious, assertive. She's a good person.

And then there's me. Introverted, awkward, reserved. I almost never go outside, except for my job and school. I'm absolute shit at conversation. I have few friends. I'm shy. Soft-spoken. Milquetoast. Uncreative. Boring. Stressed.

Lonely.

I've felt this way for years, ever since I started middle school. I've felt alone, like no one's there for me. My sister getting a boyfriend just made it worse. I don't feel like this just because I don't have a girlfriend. I just feel isolated, out on my own. Depressed.

It comes and goes. Hits me harder or lighter. Sometimes I'm able to fight it. Other times it overcomes me and I sit in my room, crying. I cry myself to sleep some nights.

It's been getting worse recently. A lot worse. I'm almost in college, I have a job, I'm looking to get a driving permit. And I feel like no one's there for me.

Last night, I had enough. I texted my friend, asking her if she had time to talk. She said yes. So I sat on my bathroom floor, and talked to her.

The moment I started talking, I cried. I didn't mean to, but I did, years of pain finally flooding out. I poured my feelings out to her. I said how I felt lonely. It's always the extroverted people who are positive, who are successful, who live their dreams and have a lot of friends and get girlfriends, I told her. People like me, we live and die alone. We're too reserved for anyone. No one cares about us. We're discarded as losers. I didn't want to live alone. She's 14, and she just got her second boyfriend. Her crush texted her and asked her out. She happily accepted.

She's 14, and this is her second boyfriend. She's sociable, friendly, smart. She has friends from all over the world. She throws/goes to parties. She's creative, ambitious, assertive. She's a good person.

And then there's me. Introverted, awkward, reserved. I almost never go outside, except for my job and school. I'm absolute shit at conversation. I have few friends. I'm shy. Soft-spoken. Milquetoast. Uncreative. Boring. Stressed.

Lonely.

I've felt this way for years, ever since I started middle school. I've felt alone, like no one's there for me. My sister getting a boyfriend just made it worse. I don't feel like this just because I don't have a girlfriend. I just feel isolated, out on my own. Depressed. I've tried to change, to "think positive," but it just doesn't work.

It comes and goes. Hits me harder or lighter. Sometimes I'm able to fight it. Other times it overcomes me and I sit in my room, crying. I cry myself to sleep some nights.

It's been getting worse recently. A lot worse. I'm almost in college, I have a job, I'm looking to get a driving permit. And I feel like no one's there for me.

Last night, I had enough. I texted my friend, asking her if she had time to talk. She said yes. So I sat on my bathroom floor, and talked to her.

The moment I started talking, I cried. I didn't mean to, but I did, years of pain finally flooding out. I poured my feelings out to her. I said how I felt lonely. Depressed. Lost. Isolated. I told her how scared I was of living alone, no one there for me. It's always the extroverted people, I told her, the social people great at conversation that get the girl, that are successful, that are good looking, that are positive and loved. That's the exact opposite of me. People like me, we die alone. We never get the girl. We live sad, lonely lives. No one cares for us, I told her. I even bothered to ask for the phone number of a friend who moved away that I had a crush on. I wanted to see if I could get something going there. I'll probably fail at it, though.

She must have felt absolutely shocked hearing this from me. I was the guy who smiled and laughed and told bad dad jokes, the guy who loved to read and talk about cats and play video games, the guy who loved acting and giving engaging presentations that also had bad dad jokes in them, the awkward, soft-spoken guy who didn't like it when people got too close or touched him. I never really talked about this kind of stuff.

She told me she and my other friends would be there for me. She told me to try to change.

She told me to stop crying and "man up."

I know my friends will always be around me. I just wanted to reach out to someone, anyone.

I've tried changing. I've tried becoming the type of person that is always happy, confident, friendly, the kind that is loved, the kind that gets the girl. It's not me. It just isn't. I'm not extroverted, or friendly, or romantic. I'm introverted, cold, and awkward. I can't hold a proper conversation with practically anyone. I've been called rude. An asshole. Hell, she called me that once.

"Man up"... are men not allowed to cry now? Can we not show emotion? I've been "manly" for the past 6 years. I don't want to be "manly" anymore.

I needed a shoulder to cry on. I needed someone to hold me and tell me it'll be all right. I needed someone to listen to me as I poured my heart out. I needed a friend.

And she spat in my face and stabbed me in the back.

What she said is what society always says to us lonely people. "Oh, you just need to change!" "Just stop thinking that way and think positive instead!" "Man up, you pussy, there's people worse off than you!"

I've tried to change. I've tried to think happy. I've tried to lock away my inner feelings. It doesn't work.

I've hidden my emotions for years behind a fake smile and laugh and an "I'm fine". I just couldn't do it anymore. I'd reached a breaking point.

I needed someone who understood, someone to reassure me that I wasn't alone. I needed support. I don't even care if I die alone. I just needed someone. I thought she was that someone.

She wasn't.

She practically blamed me for feeling lonely. "Well, if you just think positive you won't feel like that!" "Just change, you'll feel better then!" "Stop crying, you're a man!"

You don't blame the victim. You help them. You support them. She didn't.

No, this isn't a suicide note. I haven't cut myself. I've had those thoughts, but I've never gone through with them.

I'm sorry for ranting. I just needed somewhere to go, and I thought of here. I can't go to my mom, she's one of "those" parents. I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my sister. My dad is absolutely horrible with feelings. I doubt my other friends would care. I don't even think any of you care.

I know this isn't the type of person I've made myself out to be. Agree with her, call me a pussy, tell me to fuck off, whatever. I don't care anymore.

Shit.

https://itscasualfridaydotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/pumpkinspicebleach2.jpg

MY FAVORITE SEASONAL BEVERAGE.

The "I woke up with this and it looked okay so I went with it" style.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2016/08/31/bill-nye-the-science-guy-is-getting-a-new-show-this-is-not-a-drill/

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtVJdPfm0F8

BILL
BILL
BILL
BILL

Originally posted by Lamenting in Happy Ways:

Originally posted by The Space Butterfly (Salt Lord):

What...?

This shit is going to spread like wild fire.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W3sslyiUfg

Cancer.

Originally posted by Sir Illic:

Harambe.