Greetings, fellow Vampires!

Psst… remember that time (like… last update) when we said we’d start posting more often? Surprise - we weren’t lying (rare for vampires)! From now on, expect more frequent updates, whether they’re big or small. This one is small. Tiny. Microscopic. Subatomic. Quantum-level. Nanoliminal.

(Nanoliminal is not a thing, I just made it up)

Bloody Hell Hotel features procedurally generated dungeons - their layout shifts with each in-game day. It’s an ever-changing underworld where you’ll uncover everything from cooking ingredients and ores for forging weapons to lore items and, most importantly, the resources needed to upgrade your hotel, your crypt, your blacksmith workshop, your underground farm, your fangs, your broom, your coffin, your lobby computer, your machine gun, and your kitchen.

OK, the machine gun is not a thing either. Everything else is real.

Side note: Are we slightly obsessed with upgrades? Perhaps. But worry not - our therapist is very good at pretending there’s still hope, so we remain optimistic.

The dungeons are still a work in progress, so no gameplay video just yet. But here's what we're aiming for:

• Combat is meant to be fun, not frustratingly challenging. For those of you who like a real challenge, go pick a fight with a Vampire Hunter (they're almost undefeatable).

• Combat is meant to be relaxing - for the most part. Gathering resources, mining, and fighting monsters will feel like a unified experience with no big adrenaline spikes. At its core, Bloody Hell Hotel is merely the most ambitious, most advanced, most polished, most over-engineered, most detailed, most unforgettable simulation game in history, so we're trying to keep things simple. As you might have guessed, "simple" for us still means a pretty feature-rich combat system, but the point is - combat is not what this game is about.

• Don’t like combat? That’s fine - we still want your money, so we made it optional. The game offers several alternatives for obtaining everything you’d normally find in the dungeons. Some items can be purchased. Others... well, revealing how would be a massive spoiler - but stay tuned. We’ll cover it in an upcoming update.

Some of them would be genuinely offended to be called “monsters.” Some have fragile egos. Others going through an identity crisis and need all the emotional support they can get.

Let’s meet a few of the...emotionally volatile and aesthetically challenged beings (trying not to say "monsters") who exist solely to make your peaceful mining experience unnecessarily dramatic.

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More details about each of these...violently assertive fans of personal space...will be revealed in a larger update. This is just a sneak peek.

Our Discord has been blowing up lately - I genuinely think Discord might go out of business because of our server. While it’s still operational, you’re invited to join the upcoming AMA with the almighty, all-knowing, eternally feared, magnificently fanged, impossibly handsome Supreme Leader and Dictat...ahem...Director of the Vampiric Council (otherwise known as - me):

• When? Saturday, June 28th, 6 PM CEST / 9 AM PDT / 12 PM EDT

• Where? Bloody Hell Hotel Discord[discord.com] (assuming Discord’s servers survive until then)

Greetings, fellow Vampires!

Does every game need a farming system? Absolutely not. Did we put one in anyway? Bloody hell yes! Located beneath your hotel, the farm is carved into a shadowy cavern where sunlight dares not shine (helpful when you're a vampire).

Grow everything from boring human food (ugh, if you're into that kind of thing) to twitchy herbs with questionable ethics. And yes, there’s livestock - well, technically dead. The undead cow had one too many espressos, and the zombie chickens are...surprisingly aerodynamic (watch the gameplay video to see what I mean):

You know how the silly mortal farming works: some crops grow in spring, others in summer, and so on. Ridiculous! In the caves, seasons do technically exist, but they don’t affect the crops as much.

You can grow any crop, any time. Think Stardew Valley's greenhouse - except ours is dark, moldy, and smells like bat organic fallout.

Each crop prefers a certain temperature and moisture level. Base temperature shifts noticeably with the seasons, but you can control it with totally safe Steampunk machinery. Moisture is managed through similarly unsettling contraptions.

We wanted to keep things simple, but it just wasn't bloody awesome enough! So we added seasonal events. No worries, they don't show up often and you can plan ahead by checking your farming calendar.

Ah yes, Spring - when petty mortals celebrate “new life” by sneezing uncontrollably.

• Most crops thrive without needing heaters.
  
• Seasonal event: Fungal Bloom – Watch out for wild mushrooms spawning in your farming plots - leave them unchecked, and say bye to your crops. On the upside, some are edible,
  others are perfect for poison recipes.

The season where humans seek sunlight and call it “vacation.” A disgrace.

• High temperature benefits most crops, but dry air drains soil moisture quickly.
  
• Seasonal event: Magma Seep - Volcanic pressure causes unpredictable heat surges. Great for peppers. Incinerates everything else.

Everything dies, which mortals find terrifying. We call it beautiful.

• Temperatures begin to drop. You may want to invest in a heater.
  
• Seasonal event: Cave Drip - Increased moisture from the ceiling. Could flood your plots if the soil moisture is high. Keep it low for your crops to survive.

Oh yes, the silly mortals complain about the cold. For us, it’s body temperature.

• It gets cold. Really cold. You'll need an expensive heater upgrade for your crops to grow.
  
• Seasonal event: Temperature Plunge - A catastrophic freeze. No crops will survive this day. Plan accordingly.

For your classic fruits and vegetables - the kind mortals insist on eating for reasons we still don’t fully understand. Anyway, each crop has a preferred temperature and moisture range. They only grow if they stay within that range. Worry not - it's a chill game, so if they go outside the preferred ranges, they will simply wait for the conditions to improve.

Seasons, of course, mess with both - so you’ll need to keep conditions steady. Soil must also be spread evenly before planting - uneven spread will reduce your harvest. And yes, it needs to be replaced periodically, because dirt has feelings.

Most of this can be automated with a few fancy upgrades. Or you can do it the old-fashioned way and get your hands dirty. Kidding of course - just use telekinesis, like a proper vampire.

So what can you grow on the farming plots?

All of these ingredients play an important role in the cooking system.

Consider this our twisted homage to Stardew Valley - except our giant crops have tiny pixels. You can’t have everything.

Plant a cluster of the same seeds close together, make sure the soil is evenly spread, and there’s a small chance they’ll fuse into a single, glorious giant crop. Smack it with anything solid, and it’ll explode into a much larger harvest. This is achievement material right there.

Spawning giant crops is very unlikely, but the odds increase as you level up in farming. More on character progression in future updates.

Now this is more our style - low-maintenance and mildly suspicious: teas, herbs, and the occasional morally ambiguous plant. No soil management here - just give them a bit of water now and then (which also can be automated).

But beware: herbs won’t grow in winter unless you install a Grow Light, a costly set of lamps that blasts them with unsettling purple radiance.

So, what can be grown here? Coffee, teas, spices, black pepper, flowers, and other herbs - essential ingredients for crafting poisons, sedatives, and truth serums (designed to reveal guest secrets).

Yes, we have a cow. And yes, she’s very much undead. She provides milk, which can later be turned into cheese. Both milk and cheese are important ingredients in the cooking system.

The cow has four essential needs: food, sleep, moo-vement (yes, she needs to stretch her legs), and, least importantly (and least gracefully), hygiene. Fortunately, she’s a mostly autonomous creature—she’ll eat if there’s food, nap when tired, and wander outside if the gate is open. You don’t need to micromanage her, but if you do meet her needs consistently, she’ll reward you with steady milk production.

Neglect her for too long, and the udder dries up. There is an auto-feeder upgrade available to make her even more autonomous. Btw, you can name the cow.

Chickens are simpler. You can unlock up to 4 nesting boxes - one per chicken. No overcrowding here - we strictly adhere to the Ethical Treatment of Reanimated Livestock Act, Article IV, Section 6: “One zombie chicken per box.”

Each chicken has only 2 needs: hunger and movement. They’ll roam around and eat when hungry. It’s up to you when to toss them into a nesting box. Once both needs are met, they’ll lay an egg.

There are 3 kinds of eggs:

• Regular eggs, used for cooking.
  
• Golden eggs, rare and valuable.
  
• Dotted eggs, which can hatch into chicks, hide lore items, or, if you’re unlucky, be completely useless. These are very rare.

You can own more chickens than boxes, so the optimal strategy is a rotation - some chickens out walking and stuffing their beaks, others tucked in and ready to lay.

This is Muddle—a garden gnome. He tries his best to look cute and harmless, but his unsettling smile ruins it every single time. When he’s not busy being a total creep, Muddle actually helps around the farm. His specialty? Crafting Best Feed - nutritious food for your undead livestock, made primarily from meat. Muddle doesn't ask where the meat comes from. It’s probably better that way.

His other job is to extract seeds from the crops you grow. Is he good at it? No. Not at first. But if you give him time - and avoid sudden movements - he’ll improve. Probably. Maybe.

I hear you - it’s taking time, and yes, we announced early. It's a super ambitious game, and many things we're working on are yet to be announced. Behind the scenes, we’ve been exploring ways to accelerate development. To speed things up, we’re working on expanding our team, which requires a bit of extra funding.

We’ve been fortunate to receive offers from both publishers and investors. Nothing is set in stone just yet. That process is ongoing, and depending on how it plays out, our development pace could pick up significantly in the coming months. If not, it’ll simply take a bit longer - but either way, we’re making real progress toward the finish line.

It’s also clear that many of you want more frequent updates. Copy that. From now on, expect more consistent communication. Alongside our big updates, we’ll be sharing smaller sneak peeks to keep you in the loop.

Thank you - every one of you. We’re building Bloody Hell Hotel for you to enjoy, and we’re committed to making every bit of it worth the wait.

• Discord [discordapp.com]- the best place to stay connected between updates.