Game Review: Orcs Must Die! – By Me, The Greatest Warmage Alive! (5 Skulls on all maps including DLCs and Nightmare mode! aaaand all achievements done!)

HA! Of course Orcs Must Die! is an amazing game. I mean, I’m the main character — and let’s be honest, I carry this game on my gloriously broad shoulders. With style, wit, magical talent, and a hairline that's probably enchanted. Not everyone gets to be a Warmage, you know. It takes raw talent, devastating charm, and a complete disregard for personal safety. Lucky for the world, I have all three.

The game? Simple. Orcs come. I kill them. Sometimes with traps, sometimes with spells, always with flair. Arrow walls, spring traps, acid cauldrons, ceiling pounders — my arsenal is more creative than most bards. And then there's me, in the center of it all, slinging fireballs like it’s open mic night at the Wizard Academy.

The orcs? Utter morons. They think charging straight into my trap-laden corridor is a strategy. It's adorable, really. They grunt, they flail, they explode. Poetry in motion.

BUT — and I say this as someone who is clearly never at fault — there are minor issues. Like ogres. Big, slow, and occasionally very confused. Sometimes they glitch out and moonwalk across the map like it's a talent show. Not a huge deal, but I do prefer my ogres moving in straight lines toward their doom, not interpretive dancing past my barricades.

Also, the aiming system. Now look, I always hit my mark, obviously. But sometimes the aim just… misfires (bug). Like, I’m clearly pointing at an orc’s face, and my shot decides to greet a wall instead. It’s like my crossbow has a mind of its own. Probably cursed. Or drunk.

Still, none of that changes the core truth: Orcs Must Die! is a glorious mix of trap strategy, magical mayhem, conducted by yours truly. You’ll laugh, you’ll cheer, and you’ll accidentally fall into your own lava pool more than once. Worth it.

In conclusion: if you enjoy action, chaos, clever trap placement, magical explosions, and following the incredible journey of a slightly underqualified but extremely confident Warmage (hi, that’s me), then Orcs Must Die! is your game. And if not… well, maybe you’re just an orc.

Warmage out. 💥🧙‍♂️

This game needs more love. It's a fantastic game and a must play for people who like tower defense games or third person shooters in general. Also recommend giving the sequels some love too. They are just as awesome. Now go slay some orcs!