Recent reviews by Garket Mardener

I mean, i can try to say anything, but it's a spoiler. Remember the deal with undertale spoilers? Yeah, something around that LEVEL.

Really, once you have a day without anything to do, try it.

We've really fugging gone and did it. Rise your ⑨'s

So touhou is on fugin steam now, and the translation fan patch works, with mods included, and being developed.

Wow, like, i don't even know where to start. You see, this is the 16th entry (well technically the 11th but if we get extra technical there's also mid-sequels and...) and there's a huge batch of lore and works behind it, but for the newcomers this is what you gotta know:

"Quite a bunchof eastern (japanese mostly) mythology creatures (or whatever) are living on a constantly unstable political climate on a pocket dimension that literally holds itself on perception illusions. Every now and then, some idiot tries to push their agenda, motives or politics through powerful methods (literally terrorism lol) and a select cast of snarky and sassy powerful girls that don't give one damn are off to stop it, also for their own benefit but for peace and because the causer of the incidents are on a power freakin high every single goshdarn time. Ah, yes, magic's like super dense in the atmosphere here. And faith itself gives power. And more shenanigans. Read the lore."

Yes that's a long paragraph so, if you don't give a F R I C C about the lore:

Touhou is a somewhat easy, but imaginative gameplay'd & waifu-filled series of bullet hell games with a pretty damn good OST.

I'd also say it has enormous meme potential and the community can be estimated to be mostly sheetposting, but that would require you to understand the lore. ＤＯ ＮＯＴ ＥＶＥＮ ＤＡＲＥ ＭＥＭＥ ＩＦ ＹＯＵ ＤＯ ＮＯＴ ＫＮＯＷ ＹＯＵＲ ＳＨＩＴ

That said this one is a pretty mild, OK game to start on. Both for the series and for the genre.
Buy it so ZUN knows he can outsource here to earn beer money to create more waifus.

also please stop mentioning dark souls and undertale, you're not ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ funny at all.

I mean, it's like two bucks, at least it has replayability and small-speedrun potential.

It's pretty fun and well-done, it has a bit of sidetracking and backtracking (optional), making it a great metroidvania.
You have three slots for passive-effect items that you'll find across the game. It has five levels total with five bosses, and even though there's a method for cheesing the ♥♥♥♥ out of them, it doesn't come until about past half the game.

Don't spoil yourself, but here's said method:Edea Statue + Admiral Sign

Fun, replayable, with NG+, and character selection. Pretty good. Can't wait to get the fourth game, "Reverie under the Moonlight"

Rundown on the previous Momodora titles, since they're not on Steam:
They're in other web-platforms, pricing at PWYW (Pay What You Want). A single google search will find 'em for ya.[/b]
Momodora 1: Dora tries to bring her mother, sacrificed to the gods, back. It's literally Cave Story. But faster. And harder. And without story or multiple endings.
Momodora 2: Momo goes in a quest to defeat the underworld queen, who has been a major dic hed to people. This game is more like the rest of the series, already featuring upgrades and moves to be unlocked across the game.

Also, What's the deal with shrine maidens using charms as throwing weapons?
What's this, Touhou? And a red leaf as melee weapon? More touhou????

Sadly this game is very short and relies on replayability, but it's still great

The mechanics are fun, the levels are decent, and there's a good mix of puzzle/platformer/shootie shoot.
Fortunately the game sets up for a sequel, so yeah GO AND MAKE IT PLS

This game greatly suffers from "party game syndrome"
In useful terms, "lol roll the dice, fair and balanced"

With friends, at least you CAN clutch the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with extra manpower.

WTF BRO??? DO YOU HATE FUN???
Do you? Or is your idea of "fun" repeatedly losing to RNG and perfectly proficient AI?

This game is designed to be played like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rambo, and in singleplayer you can't account to do that, because of the several layers of critically gameplay-changing RNG rolls inherently built into ~1/2 the game mechanics.

Before you yell at me for "hating america" or because you liked it, go ahead and enjoy it yourself. I'll do something else. And if you're superficial enough to make the "america" association of concepts, please delete your computer system core.

It's a bit stupid that it gets trolly, but it's still fun.

This game's text was literally made with someone that has the sass of a god- i mean, of a very sassy person. Damn.
I really like how it adresses you as if you were already experienced in games. Or at least mildly.

It's a relatively simple puzzle-movement game but it still isn't really that easy.

It's rythmic (hazards deploy/activate in rythm), has enough easter eggs, secrets and "side-mechanics" as i like to call them (small stuff thrown around that doesn't really do much but get a laugh or a surprise out of you)

I'd say it is a bretty good game. I got it off of a relatively nice humble-bundle, if you ask.

Oh, and some Binding of Isaac as well

Challenging-difficult, fun, bullet hellish "top-down" shooter roguelike. Cool.

If you didn't guess yet, this ♥♥♥♥ is strongly gun-themed. Like, everything is a gun joke or wordplay.

It's really fun, and it will have you coming back to play some more with the unlocks that you progressively get.

It rewards good play by not punishing you for every small mistake, but it still gives you quite the options not to ♥♥♥♥ it up. However, it's still hard.

If there's anything i'm complaining about it's the lack of health drops and how some bosses are NOTICEABLY more difficult than others.

Gr8 roguelike 9.5/10

To be honest, it is surprising.

It's pretty damn fun, has a nice, VERY chiptune ost and a cool blend of mechanics.
It's fast paced, decently difficult, and roguelike---ish. Not really.

My issues: (woah who are you to fuccing speak?? talking SHIZ on a FREE GAME?!?!?!??! ungrateful basterd please uninstall and shoot yourself!!1!)
*Not really roguelike, only enemy clusters and item location vary, and just a bit.
*Difficulty scaling is wonky, and feels more of an impairment than a change in difficulty.

->A few balance flaws (imo) are:
4-1 being sniper hell "haha fucc you and your shield!!!", the HOMING BULLETS the flying basterds shoot in zone 3, how Endless mode challenges are sometimes too harsh (HIGH TECH STACKS FOREVER MEGALUL) and the fact that shielded enemies can also dodge and the invulnerability lasts wayyy too much. It even works when they dodge into a freakin wall!

Still, it's free, and it's surprisingly fun. Would recommend greatly.

Yes, it keeps crashing, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Memesoft can't do one thing right.

VA-11 Hall-A is a fun, comedic graphic novel of a game picturing a greatly well narrated futuristic world that looks pretty legitimate. The bar in which most of the game takes place is a friendly den of chat & chill within a struggling city that still holds a system. The attention to character design, well spiced variety and the fair share of joke mixed into everything yields a great product. Very recommended for fans of the genre.

Absolutely glorious game, perfectly executed concept.

Story / Lore: Fitting, not forced, interesting.
Scenario: Cyberpunk futuristic goodness. Pretty friggin cool. I especially like how they really used augmentations, AI, robotics, and other enhancements into the story.
Characters: Diverse, very humanlike, seem very legit. No flaws.
Humour: Not trash. Actually good. Dialogue's a bit mature but i guess if a softie softcore like me can handle it easily, you shouldn't have a problem.
OST: Jontron_10.avi (it's great)
Graphics/Artstyle: A good use of high-pixel non-aliased goodness. If you're one to complain about it please go educate yourself. Opinions are OK, uneducated opinions aren't funny.

When i got this in a bundle i was laughing in disbelief as I had already known this was tagged as a "waifu game" and i didn't want to be involved in too much of this. But guess what, the "waifu" title is just bait. In the most part. The characters aren't outrageous and fanserviceish (in the most part) and there's a good share of different combinations of perks and quirks they show. Sure, you could make waifu's out of this shiz but you can also really praise the good design and focus on the writing. Don't be discouraged, set up properly with a comfy chair and some snacks, this is a great graphic novel.

Final score, because you people really like final scores: 9/10 fix the crashes and it'll be a 9.9

If you saw my review for Bleed 1, i was very happy to see how it was a well designed, cool dual-stick bullet-time rampaging blast of fun, but this time, the devs made a great job improving basically every aspect.

The game seems REALLY similar to the first, but that doesn't remove any of the fun nor challenge. Many bosses are straight redesigns or clear references to the previous ones' attacks, but that's to be expected, they're in the same saga.

Now there's CO-OP (bless), better "style" rating, better weapon balance, reflect is actually understandable and cool now, etc etc. Great game. Check the prequel and buy both. They desserve the money.

Ah, and as of difficulty, it's good. It can get quite a bit difficult but not that much, it has no real issue there. So buy this, medium-skilled retro arcade fans! It's a good challenge!

9.5/10 fuccin ebic