perfect stats

I like this plan.

NEW STATS:

+100% CRAPPING DISTANCE
+100% SPICYNESS
ASS SETS ON FIRE COS OF THAT CURRY
TWERKING GIVES YOU DEM HOOKAZ

DAT ASS BE TOO HAIRY
-100% AMMO
NEEDS TO BE SAT ON DEM GUYS TO HURT EM

Name: The Trader's Toilet Seat
Description:
Don't even think about it.

Other items in set
Flusher's Fatigue (A toilet flusher on the side of the heavy's head)
Description: How would this work exactly? It couldn't flush the blood, because it seems all the blood heavy has goes to his arms, legs, and other body parts he moves.
The Pripyat Pooper - A large turd badge on Heavy's chest
Description: Straight outta Pripyat. Wait what?

(I KNOW YOU CANT HAVE 4 COSMETICS EQUIPPED SO SHHH)
and Finally,
The Heavy's Handkerchief Dispenser Tissue Box/Toilet Paper Dispenser/Handkerchief Dispenser on heavy's left or right shoulder, glued to it.
Description: Now this troubled 0.15 Ton Minigun Toting mercenary can wipe his face off from the blood of his little baby man victims in the middle of battle! HOW CONVENIENT?

Weapons/Things that do stuff..... yeah
The Specialist's Sanitizer
Description - A reskin of the Power-Up Canteen, a full bottle of hand sanitizer

The Maceration Minigun (Maceration is another word for water, so sh)
Description: Have you ever wanted to sanitize your teammates? Well keep looking! This gun sure ain't it.

Hitting an Enemy gives 3 seconds of Jarate effect (fires out pee-filled toilet water basically)
Slows hit target down by 5% for 10 seconds (Kind of like Natascha, but a little more.... let's say, WATERED DOWN?????)
Standing in water recovers your ammo with normal water
Getting hit by friendly Jarate recovers ammo with pee water

30% Less Ammo
Hitting deals 25% Less Damage
Enemy Jarate and water effects last longer
10% Slower Move Speed (WATER IS VERY VERY HEAVY.... get it? Like the mercenary I'm talking about... ehh???)

The Tidemaker's Tomahawk
Make the tidal waves crash down upon your enemies!!! MUAUAHHAHHA -Merasmus
Hitting an enemy slows them down by 10% for 10 seconds
Being hit with a teammate's neon annihilator or other electric weapon gives you the ability to electrocute an enemy for 5 seconds, Dealing 2 damage for each hit, so basically 10 more damage (Wet Enemies get electrocuted for 8 seconds)
10% Faster Move Speed

Enemies using this weapon deal 5% More electric damage to you
10% Less Accuracy (Water speeds you up, so it wouldn't be fair if you went faster and had the same amount of accuracy)
10% Less Damage with all weapons
Take more damage from Sentries and certain One Shot weapons, like Rescue Ranger that fire out only 1 projectile (So rocket launchers, crossbow bolts, arrows, ect)

Finally, the secondary slot weapon
The Sargefaction Scattergun
10% Higher Firerate
10% Faster Movespeed
Enemies hit are soaked in water
Hitting a burning teammate extinguishes them
Can take less damage from fire

20% Less Accuracy
10% Less Damage
Being set on fire will let you take less damage with this weapon out, but all your ammo evaporates, and you have to wait for a charge
Cannot be refilled by ammo crates, but can be resupplied in resupply lockers
Take 10% More Damage from Enemies

Set Bonus (bla bla bla bla bla, yes i know there are 4 cosmetics, we will find a way around it)
Marks killed enemies for death, allowing them to take minicrit damage for a whole life
20% Faster Move Speed. If you hit an enemy with the Sargefaction Scattergun, and let them get soaked, when you run in with an electric-powered Tidemaker's Tomahawk, you can electrocute them (slows enemy by 10%, take more damage from sentries and stuff)

YES I KNOW ITS PROBERBLY (probably, yes I do english.) OVERPOWERED, SO SHHHHHH. VALVE MAKES THE STATS.


*ALSO HALLOWEEN-ONLY SET

Best stats ever

Seriously?Good stat ever.I want to see Demoknight use that hit a players.

Originally posted by --Hiro-- Infektonetic TF2 Scout:

Name: The Trader's Toilet Seat
Description:
Don't even think about it.

Other items in set
Flusher's Fatigue (A toilet flusher on the side of the heavy's head)
Description: How would this work exactly? It couldn't flush the blood, because it seems all the bloody heavy has goes to his arms, legs, and other body parts he moves.
The Pripyat Pooper - A large turd badge on Heavy's chest
Description: Straight outta Pripyat. Wait what?

(I KNOW YOU CANT HAVE 4 COSMETICS EQUIPPED SO SHHH)
and Finally,
The Heavy's Handkerchief Dispenser Tissue Box/Toilet Paper Dispenser/Handkerchief Dispenser on heavy's left or right shoulder, glued to it.
Description: Now this troubled 0.15 Ton Minigun Toting mercenary can wipe his face off from the blood of his little baby man victims in the middle of battle! HOW CONVENIENT?

Weapons/Things that do stuff..... yeah
The Specialist's Sanitizer
Description - A reskin of the Power-Up Canteen, a full bottle of hand sanitizer

The Maceration Minigun (Maceration is another word for water, so sh)
Description: Have you ever wanted to sanitize your teammates? Well keep looking! This gun sure ain't it.

Hitting an Enemy gives 3 seconds of Jarate effect (fires out pee-filled toilet water basically)
Slows hit target down by 5% for 10 seconds (Kind of like Natascha, but a little more.... let's say, WATERED DOWN?????)
Standing in water recovers your ammo with normal water
Getting hit by friendly Jarate recovers ammo with pee water

30% Less Ammo
Hitting deals 25% Less Damage
Enemy Jarate and water effects last longer
10% Slower Move Speed (WATER IS VERY VERY HEAVY.... get it? Like the mercenary I'm talking about... ehh???)

The Tidemaker's Tomahawk
Make the tidal waves crash down upon your enemies!!! MUAUAHHAHHA -Merasmus
Hitting an enemy slows them down by 10% for 10 seconds
Being hit with a teammate's neon annihilator or other electric weapon gives you the ability to electrocute an enemy for 5 seconds, Dealing 2 damage for each hit, so basically 10 more damage (Wet Enemies get electrocuted for 8 seconds)
10% Faster Move Speed

Enemies using this weapon deal 5% More electric damage to you
10% Less Accuracy (Water speeds you up, so it wouldn't be fair if you went faster and had the same amount of accuracy)
10% Less Damage with all weapons
Take more damage from Sentries and certain One Shot weapons, like Rescue Ranger that fire out only 1 projectile (So rocket launchers, crossbow bolts, arrows, ect)

Finally, the secondary slot weapon
The Sargefaction Scattergun
10% Higher Firerate
10% Faster Movespeed
Enemies hit are soaked in water
Hitting a burning teammate extinguishes them
Can take less damage from fire

20% Less Accuracy
10% Less Damage
Being set on fire will let you take less damage with this weapon out, but all your ammo evaporates, and you have to wait for a charge
Cannot be refilled by ammo crates, but can be resupplied in resupply lockers
Take 10% More Damage from Enemies

Set Bonus (bla bla bla bla bla, yes i know there are 4 cosmetics, we will find a way around it)
Marks killed enemies for death, allowing them to take minicrit damage for a whole life
20% Faster Move Speed. If you hit an enemy with the Sargefaction Scattergun, and let them get soaked, when you run in with an electric-powered Tidemaker's Tomahawk, you can electrocute them (slows enemy by 10%, take more damage from sentries and stuff)

YES I KNOW ITS PROBERBLY (probably, yes I do english.) OVERPOWERED, SO SHHHHHH. VALVE MAKES THE STATS.

No...

WE NEED THE S H I T T I N G POWER!

Spy: You suck















D:

Welp

Originally posted by Lobotomy gaming:

Welp

This was cringe 14 y/o me posting this, please dont bring this up