Nuyen and programs gone...

I love the story transition. The PC has been left in an unknown condition for an extended period of time. Her friends try their best to determine what is wrong, to revive her, to sustain her and watch over her. She wanders as an astral form. Dun dun duuunnn.

But wait there she alive and well, leading a team, earning Karma... Whaaat?

This is a very, very confusing campaign. How much of that is a limitation of the game mechanics or delivery of the story is unclear. Perhaps both. Either way the story is getting lost in the translation. Once the campaign is complete, a 2nd play-through is required to better understand and appreciate the story. It's just a shame that so much is lost in the first telling.

The player knows their character died and their astral form is wandering around. End scene. New scene. There's the PC, clearly alive, in charge of the team and earning Karma. Your story eventually clears that up but before then there is nothing but confusion.

When the designer references "You" the player assumes the designer is speaking of/to/about the players character (PC), not a team mate. The player's confusion is compounded when the "Team Leader" is the PC not the "Story Character"; the person affected by the outcome of the story. I can't emphasize that point enough. In any story. movie, etc, the primary character is not portrayed as, or lead by, a supporting actor. When said character is spoken to, or about, the viewer or reader is not presented with an another character, as oft occurs in this design.

If this campaign is supposed to portray the story, crisis of someone, anyone other than the PC then that character simply must be the Team Leader. If that is not possible, then it is not enough to include the speaking character's name in the dialog options. To make matters worse, dialog and load screens repeatedly use the "You" / "Your" terminology in reference of another.

Make Ray the leader and this campaign will make immanently more sense! As it is the PC is performing all of the interactions with ALL of the other actors in the game, NOT Ray. And/or stop referring to Ray as "You/you" in virtually every sentence. If this means the PC does not earn any Karma then so be it! It isn't their story anyway.

1. Does Ray actually need the PC to survive combat?
   
2. Couldn't he find and hire someone on the streets?
   
3. Could the presence of the PC be explained another way?
   
4. Does the PC need to assist in combat?
   
5. If the PC does assist in combat could this have been portrayed in a different way?
   
6. If the PC didn't assist in combat could this have been explained?

1. Maybe.
   
2. Yes.
   
3. Yes.
   
4. Not necessarily.
   
5. Yes and it might make more sense if the PC used astral magic instead of their default skills.
   
6. Yes.

"Your memory is in tatters and now you are...", You who? The team leader is the PC so I assume you (the designer) are referring to the PC.

So my PC is female and my PC walks up to and interacts with the guard. Now your dialog clearly indicates Ray is speaking, so why didn't he approach the guard and initiate the conversation?

Inside the building, a dialog window opens and the PC image is displayed but I assume Ray is speaking to the client. Why is the PC image shown?

Enter building, enter computer room, where's Ray? Ray is not even in the team! It's just the PC and the client. How is that even possible? Whose story is this?

Jack-into the matrix. It's black, office still visible. Clicking on the "Center on Actor"(?) button, flashes the matrix. So I can see myself and can move, sort-of. There's no in-matrix controls. Reload and don't go there.

Ms Haesar: "...somebody had come to be sooner..." -> "come to me".
Ms Haesar: "...evidence into her brief case and..." -> "briefcase".

Scene ends and I wake up again crawling out of the pit in Redmond. OK that's weird.

The optional "Help Shasta..." mission isn't marked as complete.

There's no compass markers for any objectives. The optional transition "out of Redmond" still exists and works.

"...five different ones pieces mixed in...", I don't understand "ones pieces".

Raven: PC... uh Ray: "...That's right you remember who the leader is...". It's not Ray... ;)

Jasmin: "...It's from over seas..." -> "overseas".
The Fallen: "...over run..." -> "overrun".
Rory: "...barrens weren't beyond..." -> "were".

Title caps.

"Interact": Sure would be nice to know what I'm "Interacting" with before I do so. Rather than having me activate an alarm panel and being forced to reload.

"Queen's"
Queen Alicia: (Ray): "...is truly helpfull..." -> "helpful".

Title caps.
After defeating the Harbingers, I was unable to click on Johnson or move. The party was healed of their most recent wound then nothing. I had to use the console to "endTurn".

These "archaeological" missions all cause my PC to lose their first turn. This occurs on the third spawn.

1st Play-through:
So I walk in, click on the bartender, the stupid engine finds a path the long way around. I quickly click at the bottom of the bar so I can then click on Genevieve. Then The Fallen chimes in about us killing innocent patrons. Uh what? Now in combat mode I see "Street Thugs" and a spirit toward the back of the bar... It's just even more confusing. I never did even speak with Genevieve. I didn't attack or kill anything. Genevieve was hostile and I wasn't about to fight her, so I just went outside.

And I can't see a fraggin' thing. :P

The Fallen: "...I forced that fight...". What fight?

2nd Play-through:
I click near Genevieve so I don't run the long way around the bar. I Speak to Genevieve then walk away. The screen shakes, more magically appearing enemies, Genevieve turns hostile and says, "what the hell are you doing?"

PC: Uh, walking!?

Timing? Delivery? Location inside bar? I'm not about to fight Genevieve despite the "Street Thugs". ;| So I just leave without firing a shot. This play-through, The Fallen hasn't said a word.

This scenario could have worked, if Genevieve didn't go hostile for no reason.

1. Lock door.
   
2. Require speaking with her.
   
3. Move away.
   
4. Spawn enemies, Genevieve must remain neutral.
   
5. Now, require my team to kill one or more "Street Thugs".
   
6. Genevieve now goes hostile, she has a reason.
   
7. Unlock the door.

Outside of the Boil. How'd I get on the roof? And what are a squad of Lonestar doing here.

For similar reasons I'm not about to fight the Lonestar. It doesn't feel right, especially for my role-playing character. And especially if The Fallen speaks up to inform me that he manipulated me, uh Ray. I'm not about to play his game for his amusement.

Maxamillion (sp?) was standing right there. Seems an odd and bad place to be. I just run up, speak with him and enter the office.

"Doc Pain's Office"
"...already after you for that mess at the Festerin Boil...". There was no mess. None.
"...were a push over..." -> "were pushovers". I'm assuming you mean the Lonestar? Didn't engage them...
"...what alement..." -> "ailment".

My character portrait but Ray says: "Hunny...". This is confusing.

FireStorm: "...mean lose ends?" -> "loose".
The Fallen: "Fearless leader... He was possessed...if he can be saved...he can be..." -> "She", "she" and "she". The last time I checked, my character is female and she still sits to pee.

FireStorm: "...Try to save him...he...him." -> "her", "she" and "her". In my first play-through I thought I was standing right there? "Hellooo, I'm standing right here. I'm the one that interacted with you. Have I not been shooting my weapon all this time?" Oh and I'm FEMALE. It's got to be the haircut right?

Title caps.
Dialog: My Character Portrait: (Ray): No text for my character. This happens far too often. Is Ray talking to me or to The Fallen? This just lends itself to confusion.
The Fallen: "...No Lone Star..." -> "Lonestar".
The Fallen: "...An agenda to fullfill..." -> "fulfill".

I spoke with Dragon but the objective remains open. Can't speak with him again.

"...feel the its sinister..." -> "feel its sinister".

"...heavy artilliary..." -> "artillery".

The Silent P's were supposed to cause a distraction. not engage security and get themselves killed. They spawn inside the closed gate adjacent to the guards, so the guards don't need to pursue them.

Title caps...
"...hendrance..." -> "hindrance". Hen... Bkawk :D

PC: "...You soul is..." -> "Your".

So now a little exposition as to my presence in this campaign. No one can see or hear me, except enemies... I can fight and take damage as if I'm there. So confusing, I should perhaps be glowing purple and not be allowed to interact at all with anything. Again, the party leader should be Ray, not me!

The Urinal: "You wip it out..."

1. "whip"
2. Chicks don't "whip it out"

You gave me a set of Blue Coveralls, a maintenance key and level 5 pass codes. I can't change into the coveralls and the pass codes don't get me past the turret. Sooo, am I missing something? Also, what's with the floating and maneuvering security cameras?

Claire Thought Bubble: "favortism" -> "favoritism"

-> "Hideout", title caps.
Damn, The Fallen just spent all of my hard earned nuyen, 9000¥, this chapter...

So it's "feeding" time? All I was doing was shooting and blasting. I was expecting a new attack/spell/totem of some kind specific to vampirism and feeding, e.g. drawing the life blood out of a victim.

Ray shot the doc once... The doc didn't die, he's still standing there but the objective is complete. Ray keeps defaulting to his pistol despite being more accurate with a spell.

FireStorm is in a closed body bag on the gurney. My PC picks up her hand, a detached hand in her inventory as a mission item? And then FireStorm is alive.

The Fallen: "...I am afriad he had to leave unexpectantly..." -> "afraid", "unexpectedly". He's standing right there. If he could speak, the things he'd say.

Title caps.
"...as you watch helplessly..." -> "watched".

Bottom of Screen: "Your thoughts are coudy now...increasing..." -> "cloudy", "increasingly". Ray's thoughts...

PC: "...I can help you no more.". So does this mean the PC will no longer engage in combat?

Ah. the concluding exposition. I was merely a psychic projection or something. A very real and effective psychic projection that only Ray, and his enemies, could see. OK... But Ray should have still been the team leader. And it's debatable whether the PC should earn any Karma. Let Ray earn Karma and let the Player spend it on Ray! He could use it.

The thought bubbles don't last long enough for me to read. I believe I saw "awefully" -> "awfully" and something about the Lonestar attacking because of "the Festerin Boil thing". They should know better. They should not engage and should call for backup.

-> "Descending", title caps.
Dialog: PC portrait: No text...

"...how to take control of your body back..." -> "take back control of your body".
"...helpless to do nothing but watch..." -> "helpless to do anything".

The Fallen: "..have been gathered and enough Orichalum to lock..." ->

• "and we have enough Orichalcum" OR
  
• "and there is enough Orichalcum" OR
  
• "with enough Orichalcum" OR
  
• "along with enough Orichalcum" OR
  
• "including enough Orichalcum" OR ...

Despite my confusion and misgivings about my PC being erroneously referred to as the male gender and despite the grammatical errors, this campaign is still well written. The story continues to develop in captivating ways. This story prepares the player for what is to come in part 3 and should cause some anticipation.

So now remember gentle readers, you can't take it with you into Darkness Falls Part 3...