+100% facepalm chance

Originally posted by DFS Sergeant Pootcolas Cage:

+100% facepalm chance

+100 tastyness

-99% Movement speed
-500% Coolness factor
+50% Chance of being eaten by birds/other teammates
+100% of dying when getting near a Pyro
+100% puffiness
-70% Damage penalty on all weapons
+800% chance of Diabeetus

+1006% Chance of enemies ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ themselfs laughing when they see you
-You can't attack

-99% move speed
-50 health drain per second
-no cosmetic slots or weapon slots
-no teleporting
-takes crits while trying to move
-cant get ubercharged
+everyone looking laughs and gets an item out of your inventory
-no respawning
+5000% more autobalance chance
-after wearing in a server for 40 minutes you get banned
-cannot attack
+50000000% health
-medics cant heal you
+1% resistance to bullets, fire and explosives
- when you try to attack you hurt yourself
+snipers instant kill you with bodyshots
-as you walk you automatically place down sprays on all the walls and floors portraying your ip address, home address, your computer password, and your steam password
+trying to taunt kills all your allies that are afk and autobalances them to the other team to bodyshot you as snipers
+people aimbot snap to you through walls
+cannot get backstabbed
+every step you take causes you to rethink your choices to use this
+cannot pickup intel, push payload cart or cap points of any sort
-cannot pickup or use spells
+trying to pick up spells kills you
+doing anything other then being utterly useless kills you
-being on team spectator kicks you
+auto assigns you to a team
+unistalls steam when you ragequit
+blows up your computer if you try to reinstall steam
+kills your family if you try to buy a new computer
have fun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3TtS1wkb7M c:

+Over 9000
+nope.avi