Q: What the hell is this?
A: A tactical stapler.

Q: What does it do?
A: It shoots staples into zombies and paper

Q: Shoots zombies?
A: Technically.... yes. Legally... sort of

Q: Staples paper?
A: Oh ya absolutely! Maximum 25 sheets deep

Q: What is Fold/Unfold
A: Unfold for tactical mode. Fold for office mode. Always be prepared

Q: What are staples?
A: Tiny pieces of metal wire.

Q: Is that phone number real?
A: Of course it is, how else would you order one?

Q: Do you take Credit?
A: No, only zomboid monies.

Q: Why
A: Why not?

Q: Seriously Why?
A: I don't know, why do you hate fun?

Q: Surely you can't be serious?
A: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.