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What you should be looking for is /opinion_modifiers/00_opinion_modifiers and /opinion_modifiers/01_personality_opinions.
The border friction modifier
is a part of the first file, for example you can change it into something like
This will make the friction be 6 times lower between any two empires with human_remnant personality type. Then you will need to add new entry in the file /personalities/00_personalities describing your new personalities (you probably already did it?).
Alternatively you can instead have it changed to
That will make any two empires with same species have 6 times smaller border friction.
You can also give straight up opinion boosts for two human fractions (check the file /opinion_modifiers/01_personality_opinions) forexampels of opinion modifiers.
Sorry for the slow response, steam didn't notify me for the new thread :)