First, you must boot up the game. Make sure you have a Mario Paint Mouse plugged into your PC instead of your peasant Cyborg RAT Mouse.

Then, start a new game.

In the cell stage, you must kill everyone because you're no fun.
The final boss of the cell stage is a talking bee who is definitely not related to any lol xD hip memes.

After that, you nuke all of the gey cells and get to the surface.

yOUR FIRst challenge is to find a time machine, go to 1963 and save Kennedy. Then, a blue police box will fade in and a british guy will tell you off for messing with time travel. Then, a british robot ♥♥♥♥ and kills him.

you steal the box and go homes.

you then need to find some hamsters and train them to shut down the government. I trained two and named then "killur" and "self".

TO BE CONTINUED YAY

your character finally has enough of his tribe and shoots it up.

you need to look for ogres to fight so you can steal their onions.
(Am I seriously making a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Shrek joke in 2017?)

you takes the time machine to the future.

you crash land in 2248 and the machine lands on some bloke, causing a crazy butterfly effect

your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandson is there and he wants to kill you for causing the effect and dooming the world. instead, you murder him.

Why did I waste my time on this? Seriously, it wasn't even very funny. I have too much spare time, I guess. Oh well.