This guide is a work in progress until it is not.

Dumbass:
Press a wrong number

How did you get this job?:
Just mash 0 and 1 until you fail 50 times.

Real Chimpanzee Style:
Press any buttons other than the 2 you have assigned to 0 and 1.

Persistent:
When you start a new game, mash the wrong integer that FIRST shows up (example, if the first number is a 1, mash 0 until the achievement pops). (thanks MuddyMaestro)

B for Banana:
Press the B button 1000 times. (thanks Skaery)

Buffer overflow:
STILL UNKNOWN
You probably need 2,147,483,647 bananas in a single playthrough, but it could be total as well. This would takes roughly 745 days of nonstop playing @ 2000 bananas per minute. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2,147,483,647

Corporate Life:
Self explanatory, play for 8 hours a day for 5 days in a row. Editing the Windows time will unlock this. (Sonic Duck confirms changing Windows time works.)