A PASTRAMI (Pronounced exactly like the food pastrami) is a brand new species discovered in the TF2 Universe. Not much is known about where they come from, but we can confirm that they are from space, making them Alien life forms. PASTRAMI appears to have a body of the Heavy, except they have the appearance of a squid and bird combination for their appearance. Their heads are massive and take up around 50% of the body. However, it does have arms and legs like the Heavy, it does not have a torso which is why it looks like the size of an Oompa-Loompa.

Mostly peaceful creatures, the PASTRAMI roam the earth looking for booty things to entertain them and once they find something of their interest, (i.e. A dispenser, a Medic, pretty much anything) they will start to make happy or joyful sounds.

• They do sound like the Heavy, except their voices are very high-pitched and they talk really fast, but if you listen closely you can understand what they're saying. So be sure to listen to them when they're talking to you!
  
• PASTRAMI'S can also move very fast, faster than the Scout. It's unclear how this is possible but we'll get more answers on that as soon as we can.

Like the Pootis Bird, PASTRAMI'S will be kind to you if you're kind to them. Your kindness will be rewarded with;

• They want you to be their friend
  
• A Sandvich
  
• A High-Five (They learned this after being on the Earth for a while)
  
• They'll want to dance with you

If someone comes along and calls them names, piss them off or kills one of their kind, then the other PASTRAMI'S will hunt that person down till they are killed and will eat their flesh for food. It is much safer to be kind to them rather than to suffer a horrible death.
There has been a huge unexplanation for this but whenever the song Surfin' Bird (WARNING: DO NOT PLAY IF A PASTRAMI IS NEARBY) is played, the PASTRAMI start to go on a huge killing spree, killing anyone and anything in their sight when the song is playing. If you're near any PASTRAMI, we recommend for you to find someplace to hide in or barricade yourself in somewhere to avoid the spree. Once the music stops playing, the PASTRAMI will return to their normal, peaceful state and it will be safe for everyone to come out.

(Server IP Address: 104.153.105.20)
If you want to see a PASTRAMI up close, well this is your chance!
Ever since the PASTRAMI'S came to Earth, this is where they first landed and since then, they never want to leave! The PASTRAMI love it at Dapper Stars and consider it their home, even though a lot of shenanigans happen there. We always look out for these funny-looking gentle creatures as if they were our pets. Only 3 of them exist and can be seen here, so if you want to come see them, this is the place to go to!



Ever since the PASTRAMI came to Earth, a giant squid-looking thing seems to have followed them here and every once in a while, it will appear in the sky where the sun is, followed by a song that sounds similar to the Circle of Life from Disney's The Lion King. We have no idea what this being is, but we gave it a nickname: "Octomoon".

It's uncertain if this is where the PASTRAMI came from or if it's a protector, an "overseer" of the PASTRAMI. Some Ween's got a few pictures of the Octomoon that we'll use as.. a preview for what it looks like.

We're near the end of our guide and you'r probably already thinking, "I would like to show my support for these creatures, how can I do so?" Well it's very easy, all that you need are 2 hats;

Chicken Kiev
and Dadliest Catch

Although you might need to spend a little money on getting these hats, it's worth it.
If you already have these hats then go ahead and put them on! Show your support for the PASTRAMI!

If you read the entire guide about PASTRAMI'S then let me be the first to say..
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have gained some knowledge about the PASTRAMI and are now probably eager to see one up close! Just remember what you learned about these creatures so you can get along with them and they might consider you a friend!


If you would like to see what the PASTRAMI or Octomoon are like in-game, then click the videos below!

Creators of PASTRAMI

Deerbust
EngieSpark
Uncle Crusty
PASTRAMI Art by: Space Shark